Forgiveness

If you're having trouble forgiving someone, you might want to consider that whatever it is they supposedly did to you had nothing to do with you at all. Hatred, bullying, and acts unbecoming of a human usually come from a selfish place - a place where a person is trying to prove that what they believe is true. They really don't care about what you think or what your feelings are - they don't care that you're angry, or sad, or hurt - they don't EVEN KNOW that they've offended you. Stop the cycle of hatred and instead return love and forgiveness. When you choose to return a grudge or walk around with sadness, burden and a hardened heart, you too are coming from an equally selfish place. Contrary, love is the only unselfish existence you can choose. To love means to forgive and understand that you may be right, or they may be right, but ultimately it doesn't matter...what matters is that you live a life of gratitude and servitude. People who care more about their beliefs or their truth more than the people around them will find themselves standing alone in their selfishness...it is enough.

 

Saving the World

The other morning I was rudely awakened from a really good dream.  It was the kind of dream that normally would put you in a good mood for the rest of the day...you know, like you won the lottery, you were surrounded by all your loved ones and you were helping the world become a better place...all good things...that kind of dream.  But mine was interrupted by 2 of my children fighting over who got to cuddle next to me.

This fight kept going on and on and neither one was going to give in.  I was so frustrated because I just wanted to go back to sleep and keep dreaming about saving the world!  After about twenty minutes of me trying to go back to sleep and them kicking and pushing each other and yelling their case that they should get to cuddle with me I finally sat up, glared at them, pointed my finger, and calmly with teeth clenched told them to go downstairs and watch t.v. "NOW."

Not the greatest way to start a day - for any of us.  Their goal was to snuggle.  Mine was to sleep.  Both should have been a good thing.  But because they were so frustrated, especially as children, they couldn't find any other solution besides fighting for what they wanted.  Because I was rudely awakened and taken off guard I couldn't see or think of my normal solution to the same situation which has happened many times before.  Normally, I would just roll over to the center of the bed and take one each side of me so both could snuggle with me.  This time, however, I was so bothered by their argument and that they woke me from a good dream - and I wanted to go back to sleep so badly, that I couldn't think clearly or rationally.  I only got caught up in the drama and ended the problem with my authority instead of with love and patience.  Not a shining moment in my life as a mother.

After I had some time to cool down and consider this situation it occurred to me that so many times in our lives we can't see obvious solutions because we are too caught up the drama of the moment.  Sometimes it's anger, sometimes emotional, but often all we can see is what we want instead of what the journey is presenting to us in that moment.  No doubt the best thing to do is to stop motion of the e-motion, consider smiling, and look into the magic or miracle of the moment.  When it comes to children we only have such a short time to enjoy them as children.  Life in general isn't much longer - we may as well take the time to figure out the easier and more joyful solution, right?  Probably that will end up being how we save the world...not through the bold, exciting, heroic dreams we have - shame on me for a missed opportunity - and may we all work harder to do better and be better to one another!

Just Jump

Have you ever stood on the edge of something - a platform, a cliff, a bridge - to bungee jump or zip line down or jump/dive into water?  How does that feel, standing on the edge deciding to just jump?  A little scary?  Scared that maybe the harnesses won't catch or hold you - afraid you'll crash to the ground - afraid that you'll get hurt somehow?  And yet, with all those physical threats, you still choose to just jump anyway because your faith in the process is much greater than your fear of injury or death.  You decide that many people have done it before you and they all came out ok, right?  And you do it - you jump!  And it's amazing and exciting and more fun than you imagined and you can't wait to do it again!  Wow!

I was thinking about this as my 7 year old zip lined for the first time this weekend.  I thought about how easy it is for us to take physical risks even at an early age because we trust that it's safe regardless of how scary it looks.  Then I thought about the scary things we face throughout our lives - not the physical things - but the emotional, the day-to-day, the risks to rise above or advance, the ambitious moves we need to make.  Sometimes we stay planted in a safe place because we are too afraid to go for something.  The "what-if's" can consume us.  We don't trust the process or that someone around is going to keep us safe - or that even we ourselves have what it takes to accomplish the unusual or ambitious idea.  Why is it so much easier to risk our physical lives by jumping off of cliffs and platforms than it is for us to risk embarrassment or failure or possibly even success in daily lives?  It all comes from the same place - it's all a decision.  Either way probably the most thrilling choice is to JUST JUMP.

Hello Friends!

Hi Bloggy Friends!!  I miss visiting your blogs and am looking forward to catching up with you all in the coming days!!  Have been away and will be posting again in the near future.  God bless each of you!!

Happy Anniversary To Us!!

My Husband, Dan, and I celebrated 15 years together as husband and wife yesterday, May 20th!   I have a ton of other photos of us, but these are the ones currently on the computer I am typing on. 

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life, my one and only BFF!!

Ok...so after posting this I had to go to the other computer where all the pictures are and post a few of my fav's from over the years...

The Grand Canyon

Cocoa Beach, Fla

On a walk one evening near home

In a courtyard in the middle of a monestary in Germany

In a Japanese Garden in a town in Belgium

Birth of baby #2

Canada

and measuring the catch below...

Birth of baby #3

and teaching him O - H - I - O ... below...

First ever Father/Daughter Dance  2009

(haven't loaded the ones from this year yet which include daughters 1 and 2)

What a magnificent husband and daddy!! 

15 years flew by fast...looking forward to many, many, many forever more years!!

Good Things Come To Those Who......SPEAK!!!

Ok, it's been over a week since this happened and I wanted to write about it right away, but with the weather so nice...yada, yada, yada...anyway...gotta share a fun story that happened Friday, May 7th.  Facebook friends could skip this one unless you want to know more details since I plastered the story all over the following day.

So, early in the afternoon last Friday my sister-in-law, Michelle, called up and asked me if I wanted to go see Ryan Star sing in concert at a bar later that night.  Not really knowing who Ryan Star was I still said, "sure" because anytime someone invites me to go see a concert I'm pretty much game for that.  She did say that he has a song on the radio right now called, "Breathe," but honestly, I listen to mostly kids silly songs, some Hannah Montana, some Praise and Worship, some Celtic, and various other songs I deem appropriate for my kids to listen to...not much radio.  Still, I was excited to get out for the night and listen to some live rock music!! 

So a local radio station had been advertising the concert all week I guess and Michelle knew the concert started at 7:00.  We thought we'd get there at 6:30 to get a table and order something for dinner and drink.  When we arrived we went to the concert area doors and asked the waitress coming out if we could go in and get a table.  She went in to ask someone else, came out and said no, that the doors wouldn't be opening until 8:00.  8:00?...we asked, we thought the show started at 7:00.  "Nope, 8:00" says she.  So we decided to go get a table and eat, wait a while, and then try to go in again.  At some point during the VERY, VERY slow service we did start to see others entering the concert area.  At another point during the VERY, VERY slow serviced meal Michelle saw through the windows that Ryan Star was up on the stage singing.  We decided he was doing a sound check for later.  Around 8:00 pm we finally received our check, paid, and went over to the doors to go in the concert area and get a table.  

Not knowing where to sit really and thinking now that the concert wouldn't start until 8:30 or 9:00 we decided to go to the bar and order a couple of beers.  We took our beers and went out to the patio area.  Both of us being the middle child we argued back and forth about where to sit and it sounded like this, "I don't know, what do you think?  I don't know, what do you think?  There would be good.  Sure that's fine, unless you want to go there.  Yeah, that looks like a good place.  But you had said you wanted to go there, let's just go there.  Sure, whatever you want."  Except it may have taken longer than that.   When we finally sat down and made few jokes about the enormous size of our beers and how horrible our view would be of the stage from where we were sitting, Michelle saw Ryan Star walking around on the patio and talking to people.  This was her first clue that we may have missed something.

She told me she was going to go up and talk to him.  I told her to go right ahead, I'd stay and guard the beers.  (I wasn't in on this part but it went something like this)  She introduced herself and I guess had asked him if he already performed.  HE HAD!!!!  WE TOTALLY MISSED THE CONCERT!!!  She explained to him how we had come early, tried to get in and they wouldn't let us, and then with the place being so packed had pretty slow service and did not get to see him perform.  As he was signing a poster for her Ryan told Michelle that if we'd follow him/them (he and a couple of his people) out to his car that he would perform a song at his car for us.  (Good things come to those who speak!!)

Michelle came over to me and reported to me that we would be following Ryan to his car so that he could sing a song for us there.  Now, I had just had a dream the night before that I was at a bar (which is strange b/c I haven't been in a bar for ions) and that someone had drugged my drink.  Altogether strange dream.  But sitting there hearing her say that we would be walking away from our beers made me think of that dream and I was hesitant.  She skipped like a schoolgirl -- ran like a crazed fan -- swiftly walked over to the gate to follow him out.  I sat at our table still - not knowing whether to go or stay and guard the drinks.  I decided that getting sung to by a rock star was worth leaving the drinks behind and that if they were still there once we returned we'd just send them back and not drink.  So I swiftly walked over to catch up and played a game of catch to get to them at his car.  He pulled out his guitar and as I approached I took this picture with Michelle's phone:

Well, after this picture was taken the battery on Michelle's very cool touch phone had worn out.  So we couldn't get a picture of him with us.  So, he asked the woman from Atlantic Records who was with him to please take a picture with her Blackberry and email it to us.  (Later once we received the photo and saw that it was completely blurry we realized we couldn't use it for anything).  I never even thought to offer my little no nothing phone (not a touch or blackberry or keyboard...just a regular flip phone)...if I had, I could have even taken video...just never crossed my mind with all these other fancy phones in front of me!!

Anyway, he asked us which song we wanted him to sing and since Michelle wasn't sure if I had heard "Breathe" or not she requested it.  So here's the official video of that song if you want to hear it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUKO6yOWm-g

Well, he's singing the song to us and about half-way through during the chorus Michelle starts singing along and he's like, "cool" -- so when it gets to the next chorus I thought I'd join in.  Unfortunately I hadn't heard much of the song while he was singing it because I was thinking about lots of other things like, "wow, this is cool...a rock star singing a song just for us!" ... and, "gosh, I wish I could just press that part of his ear in so it wasn't sticking out."... and, "for all the hundreds of times I went to concerts and my friends and I joked about how the rock star was looking RIGHT AT ME, this time the rock star really is looking right at Michelle and I!!!"  So when the chorus came I kind of sounded something like this, "Breeeeeeathe, just breeeeeathe, mdkdjakdkalkfjaklfkj AND breeeeeathe, just breeeeeeeeeeathe mmmmmmmmmmm......." Yea, not the best decision I ever made...he looked up at my attempt to sing along and had to look back at his guitar I think not to break out laughing!!!!

So when it was all said and done Michelle and I headed back to the bar.  I bought us two new beers so that we wouldn't drink the ones left sitting there.  She only ever took a few sips of hers because she was going to drive and we were about done for the evening.  We laughed about many, many, many things that women sit around and laugh about...well, schoogirls and women who have a case of the "sillies" - and then we drove as fast as we could to her house so that we could post the picture and update our statuses on facebook to tell everyone what we had just experienced!  A fun time and great experience.

A fun night out with a tiny lesson mixed in:

Saying nothing usually gets you nothing and nowhere.

Saying something might not always get the fantastic results you're hoping for...but sometimes it might just get you something you never imagined!!

Whispers and Gongs

Do you believe in Angels?  What do you believe about Angels?  Feel free to leave a comment about what you believe...could be what you think the Bible says about them...could be what you were always taught or what your faith tradition was...maybe a personal experience?  I wrote one other time about possible Angel intervention.  If you want to read that post click here.


Well, I was thinking the other day about the night my husband and I first met.  I think about that night every now and again.  I was attending Walsh University.  I had been a part of the drama program there, sometimes in a play and sometimes doing things behind the scenes.  I was not going to take part in the play "West Side Story," but I really can't remember why at this point.  That play was a big undertaking for a small university, so they put out the word that they needed people to come in from outside the university to help fill the cast.  I went to see the play the evening I met my husband.  He was a student at Kent State University and was invited to come be a part of the play by some students he knew at Walsh.


I was still friends with all the Walsh students involved with the play and my best friend at the time would be going to the cast parties because her (now husband) boyfriend was in the play.  She wanted to set me up with another "outsider" or non-Walsh student that she had met at a previous cast party and asked me to go to the cast party that night that I went to see the play.  


When I walked in the door at the home where that party was taking place Dan was sitting there in the front room.  I noticed right away that he sat up and perked up when I walked in.  I was use to this reaction (I may have been pretty for a few years of my life).  My friend's boyfriend went to look for the guy she was going to introduce to me.  My friend and I sat in a chair across from Dan and began talking with him.  Needless to say we remained there talking for the remainder of the party.  The other guy never showed up.


There was a dance that night at Walsh too!  So after the party we left and I invited Dan to come to the dance with me.  We danced and he planted his first kiss on me that night on the dance floor!  Well, we ended up leaving the dance and walking and talking for most of the evening.  We had so many things in common.  Also, both of us had decided just that week to give up the notion of a significant other for a while and just concentrate on school and life in general.


When he needed to finally go home (he was living at home and commuting to school) he was giving me a hug goodbye and just as he was hugging me I heard a real live whisper in my ear.  When I say a "real live" whisper I mean it would be like someone standing right there next to you and whispering something in your ear.  Well, there was no one else there besides Dan and I, but there was a real life whisper.  The whisper said, "This is him.  You're going to marry him."


Did you ever ask your mom once you were interested in dating how you would know which person was the "right one"?  I remember asking my mom.  Her answer was a very good one.  She always said that the right one would be someone who was loyal, willing to stand by you even through illness...even through tough times.  Many people say they will in their marriage vows, but she had known too many people who "took off" when they found out their spouse had cancer, or when they couldn't stop arguing about money...or other various reasons.  She knew my dad was loyal.  She said I would know when I met someone with that quality. 


I could not have known that in one night of meeting him...not completely anyway.  So I'm telling you that the voice was not a thought in my head.  The voice was very real and very much either an Angel or a relative who was watching over me.  It was a sweet voice and it was female.  I'm ever so grateful to the voice because she knew long before I did that he was an amazing, loving, loyal, fabulous person and husband - and a spectacular dad to our children.  In my youth I could not have known.  I was so boy crazy for such a long time that I created a whirlwind of a life.  I am thankful for the voice which caused me to pause and take notice.  The voice let me know that he was "a keeper" - not just for a time, but forever.


Here's to voices.  I hope I don't hear them often because that would just be crazy...but I hope for you and for me that they will whisper to us in the most significant of times.  And if we're never lucky enough to hear another whisper, I pray that we sit up and listen when something really hits our hearts...God gives lots of different people the right words at just the right time...and gives us the ability to know when it applies to us. 


God bless you today and I hope you're hearing all you were meant to hear today.