May Be Miracles

Forgiveness

2011-10-03T20:25:00.000-04:00

If you're having trouble forgiving someone, you might want to consider that whatever it is they supposedly did to you had nothing to do with you at all. Hatred, bullying, and acts unbecoming of a human usually come from a selfish place - a place where a person is trying to prove that what they believe is true. They really don't care about what you think or what your feelings are - they don't care that you're angry, or sad, or hurt - they don't EVEN KNOW that they've offended you. Stop the cycle of hatred and instead return love and forgiveness. When you choose to return a grudge or walk around with sadness, burden and a hardened heart, you too are coming from an equally selfish place. Contrary, love is the only unselfish existence you can choose. To love means to forgive and understand that you may be right, or they may be right, but ultimately it doesn't matter...what matters is that you live a life of gratitude and servitude. People who care more about their beliefs or their truth more than the people around them will find themselves standing alone in their selfishness...it is enough.

Saving the World

2011-07-17T22:37:00.000-04:00

The other morning I was rudely awakened from a really good dream. It was the kind of dream that normally would put you in a good mood for the rest of the day...you know, like you won the lottery, you were surrounded by all your loved ones and you were helping the world become a better place...all good things...that kind of dream. But mine was interrupted by 2 of my children fighting over who got to cuddle next to me.

This fight kept going on and on and neither one was going to give in. I was so frustrated because I just wanted to go back to sleep and keep dreaming about saving the world! After about twenty minutes of me trying to go back to sleep and them kicking and pushing each other and yelling their case that they should get to cuddle with me I finally sat up, glared at them, pointed my finger, and calmly with teeth clenched told them to go downstairs and watch t.v. "NOW."

Not the greatest way to start a day - for any of us. Their goal was to snuggle. Mine was to sleep. Both should have been a good thing. But because they were so frustrated, especially as children, they couldn't find any other solution besides fighting for what they wanted. Because I was rudely awakened and taken off guard I couldn't see or think of my normal solution to the same situation which has happened many times before. Normally, I would just roll over to the center of the bed and take one each side of me so both could snuggle with me. This time, however, I was so bothered by their argument and that they woke me from a good dream - and I wanted to go back to sleep so badly, that I couldn't think clearly or rationally. I only got caught up in the drama and ended the problem with my authority instead of with love and patience. Not a shining moment in my life as a mother.

After I had some time to cool down and consider this situation it occurred to me that so many times in our lives we can't see obvious solutions because we are too caught up the drama of the moment. Sometimes it's anger, sometimes emotional, but often all we can see is what we want instead of what the journey is presenting to us in that moment. No doubt the best thing to do is to stop motion of the e-motion, consider smiling, and look into the magic or miracle of the moment. When it comes to children we only have such a short time to enjoy them as children. Life in general isn't much longer - we may as well take the time to figure out the easier and more joyful solution, right? Probably that will end up being how we save the world...not through the bold, exciting, heroic dreams we have - shame on me for a missed opportunity - and may we all work harder to do better and be better to one another!

Bring It On

2011-06-13T14:35:00.000-04:00

I was thinking today about how hard it was for me to give up coffee. I love coffee. I often posted on facebook in the mornings my little "ode to coffee". I love black coffee, and I love coffee with half and half, and I really love flavored coffee or coffee with the sugar-free flavored creamers. Before I gave up coffee I told people that they could take any food or drink away from me, but please don't take away my coffee.

And then the day came - March 16th, 2011. I was having so many heart palpitations that day. Usually when I got them I would just ignore them, but this time there were so many. I asked my husband if he ever got them and he looked at me strangely and said "no, that doesn't sound good, you should get that checked out." That was just before bed that night and I had trouble sleeping as I tossed and turned worrying about it. St. Patrick's day I drank my coffee again in the morning...I think I drank half as much - like 4 cups (as measured on the coffee pot). I had the palpitations again, but that afternoon I had a really hard one with a little pain and that scared me. So I told my husband I was going to the stat-care because I was scared and maybe this was a heart attack or something.

The stat-care nurse did an EKG right away, but the doctor already knew I was fine. They took a blood test too just to make sure and then the doctor was very quick to tell me that if I EVER think I'm having a heart attack again that I should call an ambulance or have someone take me straight to the E.R...I should never drive myself to stat-care. He told me that these were common and often due to caffeine, lack of sleep, and stress. He prescribed a beta blocker and had me set up for some other tests at the hospital.

The following Monday is when the palpitations really went crazy. I had a completely different scare with a member of my family the day before and I was completely stressed out on Monday. The doctor had told me not to give up caffeine completely but to limit myself to one cup of coffee in the morning and maybe another in the afternoon. I did that on Monday and still that evening the palpitations went haywire. I was so scared and that evening I decided that I was giving up coffee. And I haven't touched it since.

It was really hard the first couple of weeks. I thought it might be hard for a few days, but it took a couple of weeks until it felt normal to not make a pot of coffee in the morning. I wasn't sure what to do with myself in the morning. Part of my morning routine was to make the pot of coffee and enjoy a cup while looking at email or watching a cartoon with my kids. Without the coffee I didn't know what to do. I'd make our breakfast and then I'd start cleaning because it felt foreign to sit at the computer or watch t.v. without coffee in hand in the morning. Not to mention the caffeine withdraw. Yes, not only coffee, but soda or anything with caffeine...even chocolate. I wanted those palpitations to be gone. They lasted even with the beta blocker and lack of caffeine up through May, but certainly not like they were.

Now, when I look back at how hard it seemed to give up coffee it almost seems silly to me. It's not part of my routine anymore and it's not a big deal at all. I don't crave it, I don't care if I have it or not, it's not missing from my life. In fact I've had a couple of house-guests over the last month who do drink coffee and I completely forgot to get coffee and cream for them - I couldn't believe it myself!! Me?? Forget coffee of ALL things? How strange was that??!!

So with that all in my thoughts, I wondered what it would take for me to give up over-eating and indulging in food - to create a healthy lifestyle that included exercise everyday? If I could give up coffee and after a few weeks not even think of it anymore, what would it take for me to just change all of my eating habits and lose the weight that I need to lose? It can't be that hard? I wonder if I'd look back and think how silly it was that I stressed out about it so much - that I made it harder than it really was? I'd love to be on the other side thinking that right now. I'm glad I have the coffee thing to learn from. Maybe I can make it work in other areas of my life.

I think God gives us certain experiences to teach us lessons. Not that God caused my heart palpitations - certainly I did that to myself, but the lesson was made real to me through Him. I think the wisdom gained through our experiences is the gift that He gives us. What we do with the wisdom is up to us. Sometimes I don't feel strong enough to act on my wisdom - I'm still learning and gaining strength I guess. I know strength is another gift gained through life experiences. Those seem like the hardest experiences and I don't wish for those at all - a part of me would rather remain weak than to go through an experience that makes me stronger. Backwards thinking, right? Instead, I should say, "Bring it on! Make me stronger! Give me wisdom!" - because those are the tools that are going to make me into the person I'm meant to be.

Just Jump

2011-05-22T13:29:00.000-04:00

Have you ever stood on the edge of something - a platform, a cliff, a bridge - to bungee jump or zip line down or jump/dive into water? How does that feel, standing on the edge deciding to just jump? A little scary? Scared that maybe the harnesses won't catch or hold you - afraid you'll crash to the ground - afraid that you'll get hurt somehow? And yet, with all those physical threats, you still choose to just jump anyway because your faith in the process is much greater than your fear of injury or death. You decide that many people have done it before you and they all came out ok, right? And you do it - you jump! And it's amazing and exciting and more fun than you imagined and you can't wait to do it again! Wow!

I was thinking about this as my 7 year old zip lined for the first time this weekend. I thought about how easy it is for us to take physical risks even at an early age because we trust that it's safe regardless of how scary it looks. Then I thought about the scary things we face throughout our lives - not the physical things - but the emotional, the day-to-day, the risks to rise above or advance, the ambitious moves we need to make. Sometimes we stay planted in a safe place because we are too afraid to go for something. The "what-if's" can consume us. We don't trust the process or that someone around is going to keep us safe - or that even we ourselves have what it takes to accomplish the unusual or ambitious idea. Why is it so much easier to risk our physical lives by jumping off of cliffs and platforms than it is for us to risk embarrassment or failure or possibly even success in daily lives? It all comes from the same place - it's all a decision. Either way probably the most thrilling choice is to JUST JUMP.

Hello Friends!

2010-06-28T23:36:00.000-04:00

Hi Bloggy Friends!! I miss visiting your blogs and am looking forward to catching up with you all in the coming days!! Have been away and will be posting again in the near future. God bless each of you!!

Unofficial Review...

2010-05-27T12:51:00.000-04:00

So my next two posts are going to be a little off-track from what I normally want to write about in this blog. They are, however, things I sort of feel a need to write about. This one's pretty "surfacy"...literally and figuratively.

I'd like to present my "unofficial" review of TNS Essential Serum by Skinmedica.

I first heard of TNS Essential Serum on the t.v. show "The Doctors." Now, I normally don't have the t.v. on in the afternoon, but I had seen earlier that morning that they would be discussing the most effective anti-aging tools on The Doctors that day, so I wanted to hear about that. So, I listened as a dermatologist got everyone excited about TNS Essential Serum. She said, "...this is serious science people!" They talked about how they had been using this science on burn victims for years to repair their skin damage and now they've figured out how to repair facial skin, signs of aging, fine lines, age spots all with this serum. SOLD!!! I looked at a few reviews on line and decided this was finally the one thing that could stop my skin from aging what seems to be so quickly lately!!

TNS ES retails for $250 - I have never paid so much in my life for a skin product!! I found it on line for $196...probably could have found an even better price if I would have looked longer. Still, I have never paid so much for any skin care product...but I had just been paid for helping with a project and had the cash and decided that this would be how I would treat myself.

My unofficial review is this: please save your money!! Let my mistake save you the effort!! At $250 for a 1oz. bottle of something that is "serious science" one should expect dramatic differences within the use of the first bottle. I'm not delusional...I didn't expect results in the first 2 weeks...but by the end of the product I was expecting my fine lines to be pretty much diminished...I was expecting some age spots to be gone...I was expecting SOMETHING. What I got was nothing - honestly - no change at all!!

If any of you have found something that you feel has really helped your skin please feel free to share a comment here. I know that aging is inevitable - I just don't want it to show SO much!!

Happy Anniversary To Us!!

2010-05-21T10:50:00.001-04:00

My Husband, Dan, and I celebrated 15 years together as husband and wife yesterday, May 20th! I have a ton of other photos of us, but these are the ones currently on the computer I am typing on.

Happy Anniversary to the love of my life, my one and only BFF!!

Ok...so after posting this I had to go to the other computer where all the pictures are and post a few of my fav's from over the years...

The Grand Canyon

Cocoa Beach, Fla

On a walk one evening near home

In a courtyard in the middle of a monestary in Germany

In a Japanese Garden in a town in Belgium

Birth of baby #2

Canada

and measuring the catch below...

Birth of baby #3

and teaching him O - H - I - O ... below...

First ever Father/Daughter Dance 2009

(haven't loaded the ones from this year yet which include daughters 1 and 2)

What a magnificent husband and daddy!!

15 years flew by fast...looking forward to many, many, many forever more years!!

Good Things Come To Those Who......SPEAK!!!

2010-05-16T12:39:00.000-04:00

Ok, it's been over a week since this happened and I wanted to write about it right away, but with the weather so nice...yada, yada, yada...anyway...gotta share a fun story that happened Friday, May 7th. Facebook friends could skip this one unless you want to know more details since I plastered the story all over the following day.

So, early in the afternoon last Friday my sister-in-law, Michelle, called up and asked me if I wanted to go see Ryan Star sing in concert at a bar later that night. Not really knowing who Ryan Star was I still said, "sure" because anytime someone invites me to go see a concert I'm pretty much game for that. She did say that he has a song on the radio right now called, "Breathe," but honestly, I listen to mostly kids silly songs, some Hannah Montana, some Praise and Worship, some Celtic, and various other songs I deem appropriate for my kids to listen to...not much radio. Still, I was excited to get out for the night and listen to some live rock music!!

So a local radio station had been advertising the concert all week I guess and Michelle knew the concert started at 7:00. We thought we'd get there at 6:30 to get a table and order something for dinner and drink. When we arrived we went to the concert area doors and asked the waitress coming out if we could go in and get a table. She went in to ask someone else, came out and said no, that the doors wouldn't be opening until 8:00. 8:00?...we asked, we thought the show started at 7:00. "Nope, 8:00" says she. So we decided to go get a table and eat, wait a while, and then try to go in again. At some point during the VERY, VERY slow service we did start to see others entering the concert area. At another point during the VERY, VERY slow serviced meal Michelle saw through the windows that Ryan Star was up on the stage singing. We decided he was doing a sound check for later. Around 8:00 pm we finally received our check, paid, and went over to the doors to go in the concert area and get a table.

Not knowing where to sit really and thinking now that the concert wouldn't start until 8:30 or 9:00 we decided to go to the bar and order a couple of beers. We took our beers and went out to the patio area. Both of us being the middle child we argued back and forth about where to sit and it sounded like this, "I don't know, what do you think? I don't know, what do you think? There would be good. Sure that's fine, unless you want to go there. Yeah, that looks like a good place. But you had said you wanted to go there, let's just go there. Sure, whatever you want." Except it may have taken longer than that. When we finally sat down and made few jokes about the enormous size of our beers and how horrible our view would be of the stage from where we were sitting, Michelle saw Ryan Star walking around on the patio and talking to people. This was her first clue that we may have missed something.

She told me she was going to go up and talk to him. I told her to go right ahead, I'd stay and guard the beers. (I wasn't in on this part but it went something like this) She introduced herself and I guess had asked him if he already performed. HE HAD!!!! WE TOTALLY MISSED THE CONCERT!!! She explained to him how we had come early, tried to get in and they wouldn't let us, and then with the place being so packed had pretty slow service and did not get to see him perform. As he was signing a poster for her Ryan told Michelle that if we'd follow him/them (he and a couple of his people) out to his car that he would perform a song at his car for us. (Good things come to those who speak!!)

Michelle came over to me and reported to me that we would be following Ryan to his car so that he could sing a song for us there. Now, I had just had a dream the night before that I was at a bar (which is strange b/c I haven't been in a bar for ions) and that someone had drugged my drink. Altogether strange dream. But sitting there hearing her say that we would be walking away from our beers made me think of that dream and I was hesitant. She ~~skipped like a schoolgirl~~ -- ~~ran like a crazed fan~~ -- swiftly walked over to the gate to follow him out. I sat at our table still - not knowing whether to go or stay and guard the drinks. I decided that getting sung to by a rock star was worth leaving the drinks behind and that if they were still there once we returned we'd just send them back and not drink. So I swiftly walked over to catch up and played a game of catch to get to them at his car. He pulled out his guitar and as I approached I took this picture with Michelle's phone:

Well, after this picture was taken the battery on Michelle's very cool touch phone had worn out. So we couldn't get a picture of him with us. So, he asked the woman from Atlantic Records who was with him to please take a picture with her Blackberry and email it to us. (Later once we received the photo and saw that it was completely blurry we realized we couldn't use it for anything). I never even thought to offer my little no nothing phone (not a touch or blackberry or keyboard...just a regular flip phone)...if I had, I could have even taken video...just never crossed my mind with all these other fancy phones in front of me!!

Anyway, he asked us which song we wanted him to sing and since Michelle wasn't sure if I had heard "Breathe" or not she requested it. So here's the official video of that song if you want to hear it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUKO6yOWm-g

Well, he's singing the song to us and about half-way through during the chorus Michelle starts singing along and he's like, "cool" -- so when it gets to the next chorus I thought I'd join in. Unfortunately I hadn't heard much of the song while he was singing it because I was thinking about lots of other things like, "wow, this is cool...a rock star singing a song just for us!" ... and, "gosh, I wish I could just press that part of his ear in so it wasn't sticking out."... and, "for all the hundreds of times I went to concerts and my friends and I joked about how the rock star was looking RIGHT AT ME, this time the rock star really is looking right at Michelle and I!!!" So when the chorus came I kind of sounded something like this, "Breeeeeeathe, just breeeeeathe, mdkdjakdkalkfjaklfkj AND breeeeeathe, just breeeeeeeeeeathe mmmmmmmmmmm......." Yea, not the best decision I ever made...he looked up at my attempt to sing along and had to look back at his guitar I think not to break out laughing!!!!

So when it was all said and done Michelle and I headed back to the bar. I bought us two new beers so that we wouldn't drink the ones left sitting there. She only ever took a few sips of hers because she was going to drive and we were about done for the evening. We laughed about many, many, many things that women sit around and laugh about...well, schoogirls and women who have a case of the "sillies" - and then we drove as fast as we could to her house so that we could post the picture and update our statuses on facebook to tell everyone what we had just experienced! A fun time and great experience.

A fun night out with a tiny lesson mixed in:

Saying nothing usually gets you nothing and nowhere.

Saying something might not always get the fantastic results you're hoping for...but sometimes it might just get you something you never imagined!!

Whispers and Gongs

2010-05-10T11:58:00.002-04:00

Do you believe in Angels? What do you believe about Angels? Feel free to leave a comment about what you believe...could be what you think the Bible says about them...could be what you were always taught or what your faith tradition was...maybe a personal experience? I wrote one other time about possible Angel intervention. If you want to read that post click here.

Well, I was thinking the other day about the night my husband and I first met. I think about that night every now and again. I was attending Walsh University. I had been a part of the drama program there, sometimes in a play and sometimes doing things behind the scenes. I was not going to take part in the play "West Side Story," but I really can't remember why at this point. That play was a big undertaking for a small university, so they put out the word that they needed people to come in from outside the university to help fill the cast. I went to see the play the evening I met my husband. He was a student at Kent State University and was invited to come be a part of the play by some students he knew at Walsh.

I was still friends with all the Walsh students involved with the play and my best friend at the time would be going to the cast parties because her (now husband) boyfriend was in the play. She wanted to set me up with another "outsider" or non-Walsh student that she had met at a previous cast party and asked me to go to the cast party that night that I went to see the play.

When I walked in the door at the home where that party was taking place Dan was sitting there in the front room. I noticed right away that he sat up and perked up when I walked in. I was use to this reaction (I may have been pretty for a few years of my life). My friend's boyfriend went to look for the guy she was going to introduce to me. My friend and I sat in a chair across from Dan and began talking with him. Needless to say we remained there talking for the remainder of the party. The other guy never showed up.

There was a dance that night at Walsh too! So after the party we left and I invited Dan to come to the dance with me. We danced and he planted his first kiss on me that night on the dance floor! Well, we ended up leaving the dance and walking and talking for most of the evening. We had so many things in common. Also, both of us had decided just that week to give up the notion of a significant other for a while and just concentrate on school and life in general.

When he needed to finally go home (he was living at home and commuting to school) he was giving me a hug goodbye and just as he was hugging me I heard a real live whisper in my ear. When I say a "real live" whisper I mean it would be like someone standing right there next to you and whispering something in your ear. Well, there was no one else there besides Dan and I, but there was a real life whisper. The whisper said, "This is him. You're going to marry him."

Did you ever ask your mom once you were interested in dating how you would know which person was the "right one"? I remember asking my mom. Her answer was a very good one. She always said that the right one would be someone who was loyal, willing to stand by you even through illness...even through tough times. Many people say they will in their marriage vows, but she had known too many people who "took off" when they found out their spouse had cancer, or when they couldn't stop arguing about money...or other various reasons. She knew my dad was loyal. She said I would know when I met someone with that quality.

I could not have known that in one night of meeting him...not completely anyway. So I'm telling you that the voice was not a thought in my head. The voice was very real and very much either an Angel or a relative who was watching over me. It was a sweet voice and it was female. I'm ever so grateful to the voice because she knew long before I did that he was an amazing, loving, loyal, fabulous person and husband - and a spectacular dad to our children. In my youth I could not have known. I was so boy crazy for such a long time that I created a whirlwind of a life. I am thankful for the voice which caused me to pause and take notice. The voice let me know that he was "a keeper" - not just for a time, but forever.

Here's to voices. I hope I don't hear them often because that would just be crazy...but I hope for you and for me that they will whisper to us in the most significant of times. And if we're never lucky enough to hear another whisper, I pray that we sit up and listen when something really hits our hearts...God gives lots of different people the right words at just the right time...and gives us the ability to know when it applies to us.

God bless you today and I hope you're hearing all you were meant to hear today.

Little Miracle # 117

2010-05-02T21:10:00.000-04:00

Although I haven't written that many blog posts yet and as such have not shared "117 little miracles" I figured that each of us has had at least that many to begin with in our lives, so it's a good round number to begin calculating from. I think some people who read here may think that some of the things I look at as "miracles" are just mere coincidences ... if you understand that I don't think ANYTHING is a coincidence then you can enjoy reading without critiquing.

So I had this picture taken of me at a youth conference once (I'm thinking it was like in 1999 or 2000). I kept it in a box with other photos from our youth events back then. About a year after it was taken I had a desk calendar that had cute quotations and I kept it on my desk at work. The day my birthday came up, November 28th, there was this amazing quote about "you'll never know to what heights you can soar until you spread your wings," and immediately I remembered that picture of ME with my arms spread wide. An eternal dreamer, I knew this quote was made just for me...and what luck, it was posted on my birthday!! And what a coincidence! I have a picture of me with my arms spread out just like the girl in the animation! I pulled out the picture and I framed it next to the calendar quotation and kept it on my desk until I stopped working after my first child was born. I had forgotten about it until I was looking through those old albums again a few weeks ago.

25 When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and said, "Who then can be saved?"

26 Jesus looked at them and said, "For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible."

I live by these standards. Just because something may seem impossible for me, I will still spread my wings and try...putting my trust in God alone. He will make a way where there is no way. I know for certain I am not worthy of His perfectness...but He has made me worthy of His love, mercy and grace. I know for certain that He bestows love and goodness only. I know for certain that He directs our paths and makes all things good. When I feel that tug or pull on my heart that I need to attempt something, try something that seems impossible but needed...I will spread my wings and try because I know WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!!

In His Own Words

2010-04-23T14:26:00.000-04:00

My dad used to like to call us on the phone and say "hello," maybe a couple of other niceties, and then quickly hand the phone off to Mom so that she could speak with us. There was always a method to his "madness" - he wanted us to have a close relationship with Mom and would make sure that he was the one to call us so that he could hear our voices too. Sometimes he would call us on purpose when he knew we were gone or not available just so he could sing a message on our voice-mail, "...I just called - to say - I love you - I just called - to say I care - I just called - to say - I love you - and I mean it from the bottom of my heart." This started happening mostly when we all had cell phones...including him. Always a fan of toys (an engineer) he loved to play with remotes and phones and dvd players and anything that had buttons and lights.

Before cell phones, and before his Guillain Barre in 2002 (which he survived but it really messed up his body and mind and eyes - miraculously by 2003 one would have thought he was back to normal though if they didn't really know him well before) - before all of these things - he used to send us letters. Long letters. His letters were about things that concerned him...always about mankind, our faith, God, and our salvation. I'm not sure what I did with most of his letters - they were sent to me while I was in college and much of that time is a blur. However, I did find one of his letters in a photo album the other day. I thought I'd post it here today. I'm sure he would have blogged had the Guillain Barre not ruined him - probably since my mom was a great secretary and typist he would have dictated his blogs to her and had her type them...I can actually picture that more...LOL!! But he didn't know anything about blogs...just letters. So here's his official, one and only blog entry (unless I find other letters somewhere someday):

Well, there you go, Pop. I love you. I'm thinking you had a hand in me finding this letter...you would have loved to blog!!!

Do be do be dobedobedo...

2010-04-16T17:07:00.002-04:00

Have you ever been somewhere...in a store...walking along...mowing your grass...in a stadium...wherever,

and you see someone (or a group of people) looking up? And then...you feel like you have to look up to see what they are looking at. And then, you notice that everyone walking by is looking up to see what everyone is looking at. Has that ever happened to you? Do you have the urge to look up right now just because you see a picture of me looking up?? You know, my little guy when he was about 12 months old for a few months in there at least, was famous for looking up and pointing up at things ALL THE TIME!! He figured out that people would always look up and ask him what he was looking at and it became a game for him! We found it quite humorous because anytime we were in a restaurant or just out and about and a stranger would come over to say "hi" to him (he's quite sociable and draws people in) he would point and look up and make them look up too!!

How about....

Oh...does that make you tired or what??? Don't you just feel like yaaaaaaaaaaaaaawning???? Who can't help but yawn when you see someone else yawn? It's sooooo CONTAGIOUS!!!!

You know, the other thing that never fails for me? It's when someone smiles at me! I HAVE to smile back!! Here's a smile for you:

Now, if all of these "non-verbals" are so contagious and we can't help but subconciously follow the example of the people who started it...let's consider the things we are leading people into...the things we do and and the way we live...the things that our children and friends either admire about us - or seem to copy whether they are good or bad. I learned a long time ago (as I'm sure you did too) that the, "Do as I say and not as I do" theory is a big farce! No one cares about what you say when they can compare it to what you do!! In bloggy land most people only have the opportunity to learn about you from the things you write, or "say" -- but in real life -- it's much different! What are your children, grandchildren, other family, friends, or acquaintances learning from you?

Just a friendly reminder that people are watching. Ignore this if you are notoriously paranoid (take your meds and repeat after me, "No one is watching...no one is watching...no one is watching...").

If I ever needed proof of this all I'd have to do is listen to my oldest daughter talk to her younger siblings! Holy Moses!! I always feel like I'm listening to a tape recording when she shows them how to do something, or when she "reprimends" them for doing something wrong! Have you ever watched your kid or grandkids when they were playing "house" and listened to they way they "played" mom or dad? Yikes!!!

You know Ghandi's famous quote, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." All it means is that you need to be and do the things that you want to see others being and doing!!

My good friend, Kris, is someone I really admire because she's so generous (I know lots of generous people, but I'm going to name Kris b/c she tends to be extremely generous)! At times when she's caught up with bills and financially in a good place she can't help but give wonderful gifts to people around her...friends and family. When things are a little tight she gives her time and presence to people. She just loves to give. She loves to love. I see her example in all her generous ways. NEVER ONCE has she ever said to anyone that this was the proper way to live. NEVER ONCE has she tried to convince others that they should do the same thing. I think many people want to be like her because they appreciate all that she does and is!! When people are so generous with me I always hope that I can "pay it forward" to someone else. I know how good it feels to receive - I want to be able to do the same for others!!

Have a fabulous weekend and put a big smile on your face. If you can't think of anything to smile about...go out somewhere and LOOK UP... watch as everyone else looks to see what's so interesting, then SMILE and walk away!!!

I Can See Clearly Now...

2010-04-09T23:40:00.000-04:00

I went to have my eye exam earlier this week. I haven't gone to the eye doctor in a good 4 years - it's just that my prescription hasn't changed in many years so I didn't really see a need...haha.

So one of the first things they needed for me to do was to take out my contact lenses. After that a couple of tests were done, then I needed to sit in the exam room and wait for the doctor. As I sat in the exam room with everything "foggy" and "blurry" I became extremely aware of how much I despise not being able to see clearly. I mean, there is usually less than 60 seconds a day that I can't see clearly and it is the time between when I take my contacts out and put my glasses on, or when I take my glasses off and put my contacts in. I have shared on here before my little secret about sleeping with my glasses on...I just don't like getting up at night and not being able to see the time on the clock...or not seeing which child is standing at my bedside...or any of the various things I need to see at night. Yes, I could put the glasses on my bedside table, but unless you have trouble seeing you may not understand the discomfort in not being able to see when you open your eyes.

So I sat in the exam room waiting for the doctor and I could only see in blurred vision for a time (really not liking that experience). I began to think about thousands of years ago and how people probably just had to struggle with poor vision...they didn't have much help with this issue. I suppose people get use to what they have to get use to. I also thought about people in very poor countries who may not have access to good eye care - and I began to thank God for the ministry of those missionaries and doctors who help people in those countries. I said a prayer of thanks to God that he's helped people over the years to develop great ways for us to see clearly.

As I sat there and said that prayer of thanks, the words "ways for us to see clearly," rang in my brain. I began to think about how God has given us so many ways, opportunities, people, means, tools, books, HIMSELF...every possible thing on earth to help us see more clearly ... spiritually speaking. He continues on a daily basis to send people or words or events our way to show us HIS LOVE, HIS GRACE, HIS WISDOM, and HIS POWER. How is it that our prescriptions can be so off sometimes...how is it that with all of HIS PERFECTNESS we can not see Him clearly sometimes? I guess we tend to "take our glasses off" and "sit them on the bedside stand" - then we can only see in blurred vision through all the fogginess of the world, the media, the politics, the hate, the sadness and sorrow we've encounterred.

Let's remember to ask God each day to help us see Him clearly. Then, put our glasses on and focus on the perfect vision of His Love and guidance for us in our lives.

The Miracle I Need

2010-04-05T13:46:00.001-04:00

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that we had gone to Pigeon Forge and had seen a show called "The Miracle" at "The Miracle Theater." There were many times throughout the show that I was overcome, overwhelmed, amazed, and in wonder. My mother-in-law ordered the soundtrack to the show and brought it to me yesterday to share...I was reminded instantly of the powerful - sometimes very real performance. Maybe some of you have experienced moments in your life where it was very difficult for you to share exactly what you were feeling and thinking (I have another blog that I haven't been able to write yet because of this same sentiment) - well, I'll do my best to tell you this much: I sat in that theater watching, no, involved within, this show and was so overwhelmed with the feeling that I was witnessing THE TRUTH...the truth that I try not to focus on daily because it's all too real and too much to fathom. I try to live the best life I can and give praise and honor to Jesus...but sometimes it's just too much to try to think about eternity and what it all means. I sat in this theater in tears many times just so aware of the truth being poured into and encompassing my soul. These are the only meager words I can use to explain the magnitude of "The Miracle."

I sit here and write a blog titled "May Be Miracles;" I can't not take the opportunity to highlight this amazing song from the show. Please take a moment and click on the link below to watch one song from "The Miracle" called "The Miracle I Need." (Taken out of context of course so not nearly as powerful as seeing the whole show...but still...worth a watch).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Phq8ljjFRt4

Peace to all who read here.
Dustine

Fogiven and Loved - Our Easter Joy...

2010-04-04T00:10:00.000-04:00

I started really hearing this song in September after my dad died. I really had only heard the final 5 lines of the song...over and over and over again...I kept feeling like it was my dad singing those lines to me. (For those who have read my blog for a while you know that at first I felt responsible for his death and it took some time for me to come to the realization that God is in control, not me). As time passed I started hearing those words - the same 5 lines - from God - they are an AMAZING 5 lines to meditate and pray with. Then, more recently, I payed attention to the entire song. Although there are many, many, many wonderful Easter songs, this one has come to hold a special place in my heart. I still feel like my dad is singing it to me (he had such a wonderful singing voice)...but even more importantly it is a song about OUR EASTER JOY...OUR EASTER HOPE...the blessings of JESUS'S RESURRECTION!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0QeT4xI2yA

Jimmy Needham - Forgiven and Loved

Tell me I’m forgiven and loved

‘Cause I hear it from the street corner priests

On how God is love and how man can be clean

But my joy has been on holiday

And my peace has almost passed away

Tell me I’m forgiven and free

O I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation

But I bought the lie I still have work to do

Now I’m working nine to five like I can earn my own salvation

But there is no condemnation in You

O whisper to me now that it’s for real

‘Cause in the silence of these walls righteousness lost its appeal

Dirty deeds have done me in

O but that can’t stop the faithful friend

Giving mercy once again as You heal

Here it is I’m feeling it

O I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation

But I bought the lie I still have work to do

Now I’m working nine to five like I can earn my own salvation

But there is no condemnation in You

O He died, He died to rectify my hopeless situation

And His blood commands my guilt to leave

Now on Calvary I stand

Empty pockets, open hands

O there is no condemnation for me

O I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation

But I bought the lie I still have work to do

Now I’m working nine to five like I can earn my own salvation

But there is no condemnation in You

Child, you’re forgiven and loved

Child, you’re forgiven and loved

Child, you’re forgiven

And child, you are loved

Child, you’re forgiven and loved

A Special 20/20 (Friday, April 2, 2010)

2010-04-02T22:13:00.000-04:00

Just had to mention to anyone who stops by to peak at my blog tonight that 20/20 is airing a program about "May Be Miracles" - NO...NOT MY BLOG...my goodness I only have a few (very nice, and awesome) followers!! A show about miracles...possible miracles...power of prayer...I'm watching it now as I type...sorry if you miss the message...hope you got to see the show. Hopefully they'll have it on-line and I'll be able to make a link to it at some point.

The Stations of the Cross

2010-03-30T15:44:00.001-04:00

Since this is Holy Week I am reminded of the Stations of the Cross presentation that we did with Youth Group for several years in a row. The church usually provides a reflection on the Stations of the Cross every Friday during Lent, but my Youth Group would prepare a special presentation in addition. For those who are not familiar with the Stations of the Cross, they are a reflection and meditation on the Passion of Christ - His journey from being condemned, to being layed in the tomb (and some versions include the Ressurrection)...these reflections are broken into 14 (sometimes 15) stations. You can go here: http://www.usccb.org/nab/stations.htm to look at one version of the stations if you have not heard of or experienced them before and are curious.

In any case my Youth Group used to perform an amazing, spirit-filled, awesome meditation and reflection on the stations. We used a huge canvas (2 king sized sheets that a friend sewed together for us) and behind it we shined lights on students who acted out the stations...to the audience they were shadows of the characters. It took lots of practice and time to get everyone situated and working in time with the narrator.

The first year we presented these stations we had a little miracle that left a lasting impression on many people. The students were presenting the Tenth Station, Jesus Is Crucified. In our version we read from scripture about his hands and feet being nailed to the cross, then the students had a mallet and an actual cross behind the canvas and would hit the mallet on something (I forget what we used) to make a huge sound that sounded like a large metal nail. Each time the mallet would hit, the actor playing Jesus would flinch so that the audience could see him laying on the cross in the shadow. The second night we performed is when our "little miracle" happened. Each time the mallet would come down and hit the cross, a church bell would "dong." NOT planned...just happened to be time for the church bells to "dong." The dong was in complete unison with the mallet. Shivers ran up and down everyone's spine. At the end and for weeks later people would come to me and express their amazement at the church bells "donging" in time to Jesus's crucifixion. It somehow made the experience even more real...it made us all feel like Jesus was making himself known and present to us.

When has Jesus made himself "known and present" to you? Yes, this can happen on a daily basis in reading scripture and in seeing him in others. But when has he made sure that you absolutely knew without a doubt that he was standing there with you?

Allelulia!! He has risen and we celebrate this Sunday!! He is living and present among us all the time!!

" T H I S B I G ! ! ! ! "

2010-03-27T21:16:00.002-04:00

Well, I know this isn't going to be the BIGGEST fish you ever saw somebody catch, but I have to post a picture of one of the biggest fish I ever caught in order to tell my "little miracle" story. So here is a picture of the barracuda I caught in Ft. Lauderdale one time, oh, maybe 8 years ago or so:

That was me with said fish and "fishing expert" on the charterred boat (my husband took the picture). I don't think we ever wrote down the actual size, but it was a pretty nice barracuda on a day that nothing else bit. When I caught this barracuda I found out that they are somewhat dangerous and have been known to attack humans. Interesting.

So about a year before this my husband and I were snorkling in Key Largo (I think, or one of the Keys). It was really an amazing spot that they took us to, and we saw such beautiful and colorful underwater plants and fish. One of the "coolest" (I thought) things we saw that was swimming around with us was a barracuda! My husband and I both kept pointing at it as it swam around and about us. He asked when we got back on the boat if I had seen the barracuda and I had said yes, but I don't recall a conversation about feeling unsafe or anything. You'll have to excuse my ignorance...I did not grow up near or around an ocean. How would I have known? Of course I had heard of barracudas...seen pictures of them...probably at one time had heard they could be dangerous...but anyone who knows me knows that facts usually go in one ear and out the other...I'm not the person you want on your "Trivial Persuit" team.

So my "little miracle" story today is that although I was ignorant about how dangerous a barracuda could be, my husband and I survived our snorkling adventure that year unscathed. He is usually pretty good in a stressful situation like that and so didn't do anything crazy to provoke the fish. However, had I known at the time that it likes to eat humans, I may have done something somewhat perhaps idiotic causing it to attack.
Guess the miracle here being that God gives you the information you need at the time you need it...and not before.

Incidently, there was another little "coincidence" that occurred during the fishing expedition that I started this post with. When we went to charter the boat and mentioned that we were from Ohio, one of the owners of the charter company asked us about where in Ohio. We both explained where each of us was from and after a short discussion I found out that this guy had graduated from the same high school as I had, only a few years before. We did not know each other (strangely, since it is a private high school with about 30 to 35 people per class), but he remembered my older sister. Anyway...there was no other significance to that except the coincidence...but I still think it's cool the way the earth is so big...and yet...so small. I do think God has a hand in directing our paths so that we can have those little experiences just to help make us aware of our "connectedness" to one another.

Have you ever been in a completely different State, Country, or Continent and run into someone you knew - or sometimes just as good - someone who lives near you but you had never met until you struck up a conversation with them while at this vacation spot? Seems like it happens a lot...just wondering what other peoples' experiences have been.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend and God Bless all those who read here! :-)

Letting Go

2010-03-22T13:22:00.001-04:00

I was on retreat this weekend with a group of teenagers at a beautiful camp. My sister-in-law who is also a youth minister gave me the opportunity to act as a youth minister once again as I helped her and a planning team create and implement the retreat this weekend. There were a few profound moments...as there always are on a retreat...but there is only one I want to share right now.

Part of Saturday's events included the High Ropes Course. Now, most people have either heard of, seen, or experienced a high ropes course so I won't go into much detail here. Basically they had to climb up a pole (there were prongs to climb) until they reached a tight-rope, log, or other obsticle about 20 feet high.  They had harnesses and were attached to a rope which a trained camp staffer held to help control the situation and keep them safe (just like when you climb rock walls). Then they had to accomplish walking across a tight rope, up a diagonal log, or across a rope with planks, etc. (When I say "they" I mean just about everyone except me as I have done a high ropes course before and don't care to again...I may write about my experience next or another time).

We later talked about what that experience was like for everyone. Most people discovered that it was a little scarrier than they thought or how it looked.  Several were proud of themselves for accomplishing the task without much trouble. Some were glad they at least tried. Overall I think their sentiments were the same as mine after I had done it...when asked if we should do it again with a group next year they mostly voted "no" -- been there, done that, don't want to do it again. One student made a statement that really stuck with me. She said, "The hardest part was letting go of the pole once you reached the top."

Isn't that true of most everything in life? I mean, the hardest part being the "letting go."  This student said, "Once I let go and just did it I was fine, but I was scared to let go." It made me think of all those big changes that lie before us...for many these days it means facing unemployment and finding a new job; for some it's facing retirement; for others it's moving to a new town or new house; for some it means letting go of some emotional pain...perhaps a grudge...the letting go means forgiving someone...or even forgiving self for a mistake or a regret; maybe for some it means just letting go of what they THINK should be happening in their lives and just being o.k. with where they are and focusing on their blessings. The "letting go" can be the hardest part.  And that's exactly where God is...in the letting go. The longer and harder we hold on to that "pole" the harder the journey becomes, the more anguish we create...the pole becomes a crutch...the pole becomes NOT our safe place, but our obsticle. God is waiting for us to LET GO and reach out...experience FAITH...embrace what looks impossible...TRUST that He is with us and it will all be fine.  GOD is our "spotter"   - He's holding our life-line...He's going to make sure that all will turn out just the way it should. Once we let go of our proverbial poles and just do what we need to do, we too will find that it all looked scarrier than it actually was. Be aware of your blessings today and trust that you are exactly where should be...for today. Let go of what you need to let go of and feel God's peace...today.

Miracle Marriages

2010-03-18T23:11:00.002-04:00

Before Dan and I got married almost 15 years ago we met with a couple in our church who volunteered to meet with engaged couples to just talk about what makes a successful marriage, answer questions, etc. I'll never forget 3 really important pieces of advice that they offerred us - 3 things that I came to understand as absolutely critical for any couple who hopes to survive.  I dedicate this blog post to several friends who have over the years and especially recently come to me to discuss some of their marriage issues and problems. My hope is that everyone understands that when you step back and look at any situation from the outside that ANYTHING (bar some forms of abuse - which I am not addressing in this post) can be worked out - if both people are willing.

One of the first pieces of advice that the married couple gave us was to make friends with other married couples. As newlyweds many of our friends would still be single. Of course, we weren't supposed to just throw out the old friends, but they explained to us that it's very dangerous for couples to try and live "married-single" lives. In other words, if Dan went out with his buddies every Friday or more, and if I went off with my girlfriends to bars or dance clubs as I always did before, then it's not hard for that to transition into others thinking that you're still available...and it's not that much harder for a married person to act as if they are still single as well. Dangerous territory. It's important for married couples to have friends who have good marriages and like to do the same things that they like.  (I still love you my single friends!!!) Actually my single friends have become more a part of my family now - it's not a seperate life - but I do enjoy a girl's night out once or twice a year with both married and single friends!

The second piece of advice we were given was to ALWAYS speak positively of our partner. Everyone knows that's not always easy.  And I have to admit I always, always, always, had that advice in the back of my head even at moments in our marriage when I wasn't following it.  When I hear other people tear their partner apart to pieces over this thing, and that thing, and every little move he or she takes, and, and, and...I can actually feel their frustration - I wish I could help them to understand that the complaining and frustration only makes it WORSE.  Now, not that people shouldn't be able to vent, but in venting, by the end the rule should be for the one venting to think of 5 great and endearing things about their spouse and SAY THOSE!! The only way to get over all the frustrating things about a partner is to concentrate your energy on all the GREAT AND ENDEARING things about your partner!! Not the things you look back on and say "that's what I fell in love with" - NO - the things about him or her NOW that are GREAT!! Always look for the good things or you will end up feeling like you're going no where...and others will think your marriage is really in trouble! And you may decide that your marriage is really in trouble...it's a spiraling effect. Compliment your spouse on a regular basis...and make it your practice to tell others just how awesome your partner is!! (I'll tell you right now that my husband ROCKS - and there are so many reasons why...including the fact that he does dishes!!)

The third thing they told us was more a fact than a piece of advice and it was this: Love is a choice. How romantic, right??  Give you goosebumps too?? Riiiiiiight!! Well listen, let me go on to explain here. In a world where movies, t.v. shows like the Bachelor (I'm sort of a closet watcher - guess I'm out now!), and other media (including the Disney Princesses) try to make us believe that love is your heart skipping, and butterflies in your stomach, and tripping over your words, and candle light on the beach, and long walks at night, and slow dancing...it sure leaves out the day to day just living and being together. It leaves out the whole toothpaste tube phenominon, the shoes in the middle of the floor, the cupboard doors always being open, the newspapers flung around, the stacks of papers, the wife or husband who doesn't care about finances, who does which chores, he or she doesn't value me and all the things I do...all those things that people end up letting get under their skin!  As I said before, those things can really spiral into a big messy constant struggle!  And what it all comes down to is this: LOVE IS A CHOICE!! I'll say it again, love is a choice. You need to decide if this is the person you want to love, and if it is, then you need to treat them like you love them. How do you treat someone like you love them? You thank them for the things they do (instead of screaming about the things they don't do); You compliment them; You help them with things that they struggle with; You go the extra mile (or inch) for them; If they are the ones causing a problem in your marriage then you honestly discuss it with them without accusing - maybe you have to get a third party to help you (again I'm not addressing abuse in this post); You choose to forgive them and let go of your grudge (or pain you're holding on to inside); You tell them that you love them, respect them, admire them, adore them, think that they are the best, value them. You choose to do these things because love is a choice - and choosing to love EVERYDAY is how you make a miracle marriage.

Kiss Me I'm Irish (But Not Really)

2010-03-17T14:25:00.000-04:00

Today everyone gets to be Irish if they want. Since Celtic Music is probably at the top of my favorite kind of music list I'm taking the opportunity to play some on here today! I'll remove it eventually...I know a couple of my friends asked that I not play music anymore on my blog since it interferes with the music they're already playing!! Although it conflicts with the "artsy" side of me to not have music playing (I feel like it somehow completes the effect I want here) - I do understand b/c I often like to play music on my computer as well and have to turn off the music on my blog and other peoples' blogs when I do that.

Have a very fun St. Patricks Day...it's one holiday not about cards...just fun!! Yes, there's a great Saint behind the holiday too!! Kiss SOMEBODY...Irish or not!!!

Hmmmm....!

2010-03-13T22:24:00.000-05:00

So I just returned from vacation in Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge for the past 8 days. Did not bring a computer so I have a lot of catching up to do. Just wanted to post this one thing quickly. CAN YOU BELIEVE that Pigeon Forge has a theater called, "THE MIRACLE THEATER"?!! Also, CAN YOU BELIEVE that there is a show in that theater called, "THE MIRACLE"?!! You know, that show was on break during our vacation, but was opening for its 5th season the day we were suppose to leave. We all discussed it (my husband and I and his parents who also went along) and we decided to pay to stay an extra day at our time-share just so we could see "The Miracle". WELL WORTH IT!! Go see it if you get the chance!

When you start writing about everyday miracles you become more and more aware of miracles going on all the time and everywhere. I think it's great that I go on vacation to find a "Miracle Theater" and show. They also had sweatshirts that said "The Miracle" on them. I almost bought one until my husband said that people would always ask me if I was pregnant again - lol!

They're also showing Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat in that same theater and Melinda Dolittle (from American Idol a few seasons ago) is performing in it until the end of March. It was one of our favorite shows of the week...well done!!

I'm looking forward to writing more this week and catching up on my reading list!! See some of you at your blogs! Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Reaching The Extra Inch...(final post in the trilogy)

2010-03-02T21:58:00.004-05:00

I have one final post which falls in the theme of "reaching higher...going the extra mile...reaching out an extra inch..."
I had wanted to write a bit about this before when I posted my blog "Miracles In The Midst Of Madness," after the death of my dad, but evidently at the time I just needed to write about his death (to read that post click here). I knew a time would come for me to write more about the MIRACLE OF KINDESS and no time seems more appropriate than NOW - now, when the latest posts have been about reaching an inch higher.

When my dad was born to eternal life, to me, here on earth, he still died. Fully understanding and knowing that he is with God and born into eternity is only comforting later...months later...when the shock of him suddenly being gone starts to fade into acceptance. So, when he suddenly died that early morning on September 20, 2009, my mom and I were in such a state of shock and disbelief that we didn't even know what to say or do. We asked several times for a priest and it seemed like none could be found. The chaplain for the hospital spent some time with us but had very few comforting words. He seemed almost afraid of us. I kept thinking he felt out of his comfort zone trying to help two very Catholic women...but at the same time I didn't get it because to me a Christian is a Christian no matter the religion and I just needed him to comfort us as Christians. He kept saying he would try to get us a priest, and finally found one, but when the priest showed up he was from a local monastary and barely knew English. He had even less words of comfort and did not perform the entire last rights sacrament to the disappointment of my mom.

I paced and paced and paced the floor in the room where my dad lay dead and my mom sat and held his hand. I could not sit because I did not want to feel anything. If I kept pacing I could avoid feeling I thought. I kept sipping water they had brought us because I needed to keep swallowing. We were in that room for hours because of a miscommunication. We thought we were waiting for the County Coroner to release his body or for a doctor to sign it off (won't go into details here except that wih his death being sudden sometimes the coroner has to do an autopsy and we preferred that not happening so we were waiting to see if this was ok). Meanwhile, since they were just up visiting me we had to decide whether we would hold the funeral here where I live or go back to Marion where they were getting ready to move away from. After about 2 hours in the room I went out to the front desk and asked the nurse if the coroner had called or if a doctor had signed off his body. She said that they had a long time ago and they were just waiting for us to decide which funeral home would be taking care of the arrangements.

I had to set up that whole scenerio for you so that you could understand JUST HOW IMPACTFUL these GIFTS, these MIRACLES of kindness were to us. When speaking about reaching that extra inch I totally think of these people and how much they did for us.

First of all, once we knew we had to call a funeral home, having just moved here I had no idea which one to call. So I called my sister-in-law, Michelle. She named two places that she thought would be really good. THEN, she proceeded to tell me that she would go to my house to watch the kids so that my husband could come and be with us. This was a Sunday morning and I know she had to get her own family ready for church and I know also that since she's a youth minister that she had a lot of things to do that day. But everything was set aside that day to come to our aid. I'm eternally grateful to her for going the extra mile, coming to our house with bags full of groceries and snacks for the kids, watching the kids for probably a couple of hours so that my husband could be with us.

Once we got home immediately my mother and father-in-law came over to be with us. My mother-in-law was still recovering from a colon surgery - but they came! That was amazing to me...especially since they had a farm to run and it was open to the public that day on top of everything else. Not only that, they drove all the way to Barberton to pick up buckets of our favorite chicken, then drove all the way back. This had to be taxing on them knowing she was still recovering from surgery and that the farm was open for business that day. They reached higher, and went the extra mile and we were so grateful.

My Aunt Mary and my cousin Melissa took time to cook meals and bring them to us...again, it was a long drive for them...Aunt Mary isn't as agile as she once was and Melissa has 4 kids of her own...reaching the extra inch.

Get this one: my sister-in-law's (Traci) step mother (got it?), Sharon, made a TON of food...not really even related...but she spent a day cooking for us...reaching the extra inch.

My friend, Kris, when she called offerred to be here for us however we needed. She suggested that she could stay with the kids during the funeral. That never crossed my mind - I thought they would just come. But once she got here and the more we talked about it it seemed like a good idea for them to come later for the meal. My oldest came along, but Kris stayed with the kids and brought them to the meal later. She missed work that day for a non-relative so I know she had to take a vacation day. Her birthday would be 2 days later (incidently so was Michelle's my sister-in-law). Kris and Michelle spent 2 days before their birthdays being available for us...reaching the extra inch.

My sister's friend, Mary, who that week had one of her children in surgery(for a broken limb I think?), drove all the way from Buffalo to be here for my sister and our family...reaching the extra inch.

My Aunt Vi (my dad's sister), Uncle Bob (her husband), and several cousins on my dad's side drove over 3 hours to be at the funeral home by 9:00 am that morning. Uncle Bob has a compromised immune system and was not able to come in to anything - he sat in the car the whole day - and Aunt Vi was torn between caring for him and being present for family - I would say they went several extra inches.

Neighbors and my husband's co-workers and people we barely knew from church since we just moved here...they all came to the funeral home. George who was our realator and who we came to be friends with while looking for a house here came to the funeral...they were all reaching that extra inch.

The cards, the gifts, the phone calls, the money for masses, the money for my dad's causes...all overwhelming...all grately appreciated...the exta inch.

I stated in my post "Miracles in the Midst of Madness" that I never liked helping others go through their pain. I know this is because I never really knew WHAT to do. This is because nothing like this had ever happened in my life - I had nothing to draw from. If any good can come to me now from all of this it is that I might have an idea of what to do to help someone else. May we all learn from the examples of kindness that other people give us. I can not put into words the value of these miracles of KINDNESS...there are no words of appreciation that can ever be enough. But God knows how thankful we are. I can only hope to pay it forward to the next person in need.

I'm amazed at the generosity of people - I see how much people are willing to give and help in times of crisis. The Tsunami victims, Hurricane Katrina victims, the earthquake in Haiti, and now the earthquake in Chile...God gave us all these amazing abilities and capacities to help. Let us all think of what "the extra inch" is for us...and go there...and do it.

Reach Higher ("The Extra Inch")

2010-02-26T22:26:00.000-05:00

As you sit there in your chair reading this reach your hands as high up into the air as you possibly can...are you reaching? Are you reaching as high as you possibly can? Ok, now that you're reaching as high as you possibly can, reach one inch higher.

You did it, didn't you? It still amazes me that we can always go another inch. We were MADE to go another inch. God doesn't mean for us to ever think we've landed in a place or situation that isn't going to evolve...that isn't going to stretch. Can't you look back on your life and just see one situation after another where you thought it was the most confusing or stressful or dangerous or overwhelming or happiest or perfect...and then something happened. The extra inch. You perservered, or else you passed your joy forward to others...but the extra inch happened and things either got better or even more perfect.

I really think "the extra inch" is what prayer is all about. I mean, let's face it - God already knows our needs and desires. He knows the situations we're in. He's in them with us. He's everywhere all the time. He's present every moment. And yet He wants us to come to Him with our needs. He wants us to confide in Him. He wants a relationship with us. We're not meant to take for granted His presence...we're meant to live the best life that we can and in the midst of living to turn to Him and ask for help, for blessings, for grace and mercy.

We ask Him to help us get OVER that mountain that's causing us such stress or grief;
we ask Him to bring the right people into our lives to get us to where we're trying to go;
we ask Him to help comfort us;
we ask Him to continue to bless us with financial peace;
we ask Him to create new opportunities and possibilities for us and the ability to recognize those;
we ask Him to help us not to disappoint ourselves or others
we ask Him for a shield of protection and for safety and good health

All of these prayers we lift up are "the extra inch" in our lives - the needs we have. And when we look back on our lives we can always see God's hand...little miracles...

Somehow we got over that mountain
Somehow the right person showed up at the right time and the right place to get us to the "next level"...
Somehow we receive an amazing letter, email, phone call, visit...just the right thing at just the right time from someone who cares
Opportunities and possibilities start to surround us

So in as much as we can physically, socially, and emotionally REACH HIGHER at our own will and with our own strength, let us not forget to REACH HIGHER spiritually and ask God each day to help us achieve that "extra inch" - He's just patiently waiting to surprise us.

REACH HIGHER

2010-02-18T19:27:00.000-05:00

One of my most favorite all time illustrations that motivational speakers everywhere use is when they tell the audience to stand up and reach their hands to the sky as high as they possibly can. They'll say, "...now you're sure you've reached as high as you can?" And then they'll say, "ok, now reach an inch higher!" And without fail the entire audience will reach their fingers AT LEAST an inch higher.

I've always loved this idea because when I think I've done as much as I can possibly do in a day...or when I think I've done as much as I can possibly do in any given situation, I'll think to myself, "Well, what else can I do? How can I reach higher?"

It's not often I remember a certain message from speakers because I've heard so many of them over the years...but I suppose because this is a popular activity among them that it finally resonated in me.

If you happened to have read an earlier post of mine where I was struggling with believing in my ability to "lose weight and keep it off" - know that I have been working on my -brain- and the way I think about things. I'm ready to reach higher. I have not TRIED nearly enough since I started having children. My mind is finally in the RIGHT place. I care for myself and my family so much and I want to do all that I can to treat myself better, take care of my vesil here on earth, and create an energy of "we can do anything we set our minds to" around here!

That being said, I have been exercising on the elliptical walker for over 2 weeks now. Today I went ahead and hit the mile mark. When I really get in better shape I know I can do much more. I'll be reaching higher and going faster each day. Also, the only things I'm eating in between meals now are fruits or vegetables. I am not cutting out pizza or fried foods...yet...if ever - we'll see how I feel about that later in this journey. Each day I'm waking up with an attitude of achievement, and when I feel like I want to NOT exercise or be lazy I remind myself to REACH HIGHER!!

More Than Enough

2010-02-14T22:13:00.004-05:00

When we go to Mass on Sundays we usually leave our 2 youngest children, Maggie and Brady, in the babysitting room for obvious reasons. Today Brady had a cough so we did not think we should expose him to the other children and we brought him to Mass with us...but Maggie still went to the "play area".

After Mass we went to pick her up and Grace, our oldest, likes to go in first to see her and the rest of us follow. Today, being St. Valentine's Day, one of the sitters brought in valentines with little dumdum suckers taped to them. Maggie was so excited about hers and was showing Grace right away! When I got to her the woman who was passing them out gave her another one and said, give this one to Brady (because Brady usually goes in there too). Grace had to stand by and watch her younger siblings get valentines. I could see in her eyes this was a little troubling.

Now, Grace is in 1st grade and her class JUST had their Valentines Day party this past Thursday and she brought home a whole box full of valentines and candy. I must say she has been a champion at sharing her "goods" with Maggie (and Brady if I say something is ok for him to eat).

In the car on the way home Maggie asked if she could have the sucker (Maggie is my candy-holic). I told her yes, and as she was unwrapping her sucker Grace asked her if she could hold the valentine and read it to her. Maggie said yes. But then Maggie wanted it back. She got it back and just kept repeating out loud what Grace said that it said. Maggie was elated to have her very own valentine! Grace kept trying to get it from her and would say that she wanted to read it again. Grace, although she had a whole box full of valentines at home, wanted the ONE seemingly very special valentine that Maggie had.

And it all made me start to think, of course, about how we all can be like this in our lives! Haven't you had times when you were "full" - full of posessions, full of happiness, full of love...and then you see someone that has "something" - that perverbial "something" that you wish you could have too...maybe a posession, maybe a personality attribute, maybe a physical quality, possibly a spiritual quality.

"ENVY IS UGLY"

I would like to think possibly that Grace didn't so much want the valentine as she wanted to share in the excitement of it with Maggie.

And so with us too, when we catch ourselves in the midst of envy (and let's try harder to catch ourselves), maybe we can concentrate our efforts on celebrating the achievements of others...encouraging others...hoping for more for others. These are all loving actions that can eliminate the envious feelings. God, with our own efforts, will take care of us and always give us more than enough.

Easy As Pie

2010-02-10T14:12:00.002-05:00

I used to work as a drug and alcohol prevention specialist, which means mostly that I worked with high school students - helped them to realize their strengths, created a cohesive environment for them to excel in, built on leadership skills, and worked with other adults in their schools and community who would help in all of these efforts. Sometimes we would have meetings, sometimes we would go do fun things, sometimes we planned events for elementary or Jr. High students, and sometimes we held conferences (weekend or week-long) both local and state-wide for the high school students.

After one of these such conferences over a weekend I had gotten home and realized that I had forgotten my eye glasses at the camp. Yes, I normally wear contact lenses, but I need my glasses at night time, and it's really quite an inconvenience when I don't have them at night. The camp was over 45 minutes away from where I lived, but if I could get a hold of the camp director it wouldn't have been a big deal to go get them. This was on a Sunday and I was not able to reach the camp director.
Monday went by as well without luck reaching anyone there.

Because that weekend conference was always held in March I'm thinking that we all must have been going to Columbus that week to celebrate my dad's birthday. In any case, I was in my car with my parents one day that following week and we were at a stop light in Delaware, where the camp was. Since we were in Delaware I was just talking to my parents about possibly stopping by the camp to see if I could get in to find my glasses (although I was sure they were already found and put into a lost and found area). Now, I almost NEVER look into other peoples' cars when I'm driving or at a stop light...I'm kind of a cautious driver and I'm always looking at the road. But for some reason I looked over at the car next to me at the stop light.

Guess who was driving that car. You got it. The camp director! I rolled my window down and waved wildly at him to get his attention and he looked over, and rolled down his window. I told him I left my glasses at the camp and he said he had found them. So I followed him there and was able to get my glasses. Easy as pie.

I bet you can think of a time that God made something "easy as pie" for you too. I don't presume to think that things just happen in my favor with no one working it out behind the great curtain. Yes, we are required to take the journey and make the effort. Sometimes the decisions we make and the roads we take require much more effort, energy, work, blood-sweat-and-tears, than other times. But often we find ourselves in the middle of an opportunity, a gift, a "where did that come from?" moment, and it causes us to pause...what are those moments for you? GOD DOES THIS FOR ALL OF US! Remember and embrace those times...it's an ongoing gift.

A Penny Saved

2010-02-02T12:50:00.002-05:00

Well, I promised some more every day miracle stories so I thought I'd share one today from a few years ago.

I was visiting a friend in Mansfield, OH which was about a 40 minute drive from my home in Bucyrus. I had a youth ministry event later that night, and when we were done visiting I went to the Kroger grocery store - just down the street from where they lived - to buy some soda pop and chips to go with the pizza we were having at the event. I left there to go home and take the kids to my husband, turned around from home and went straight to my event in Crestline which was about 15 minutes from home. I realized that I had forgotten to buy ice for the pop, so I stopped at a gas station nearby the church. When I went to pay for the ice I had a very harsh realization. My wallet was not in my purse. My heart started pumping and immediately I began to think of what I had done that day. I went to my car to look and see if it had fallen out of my purse. It had not. I began to pray, pray, pray that it had not been stolen, that God would protect my identity and all that the wallet held.

I promptly called my husband to tell him my wallet was missing but I had to go to this youth event and couldn't go back to Mansfield...could he?

The rest is the story he told me once I got home from the events of the evening. Apparently he decided to call the Kroger store first before driving out there. Indeed, they had my wallet. So he drove there to get it. When he arrived the woman in the office told him this story...

The cashier saw a woman in line take the wallet from the little counter top provided to sign checks. The woman who picked up the wallet just seemed to have a strange look on her face as if deciding something, so the cashier asked her if that was her wallet. The woman admitted that it was not.

To me the miracle God provided was the cashier's boldness to ask. How many times have I let something get past me because I felt it was none of my business, or because I feared a bad reaction, or because I assumed the best in a person? The cashier prevented someone from making a poor choice...it was two miracles in one. I got my wallet back without incident, and a woman was saved from taking the wrong road at that crossroad.

I admire bold people...I hope when or if a time presents itself to me that I can be so bold as to help someone make a better choice.

What If's (Random Things I Think About At 12:30 am)

2010-01-30T00:52:00.000-05:00

What If...

I train to do a 5K or longer and actually RUN it...not walk it?

I don't snack on chips or sweets?

I actually succeed at weight loss?

I actually defined myself as a thin woman and not an obese woman?

My children got to see me as a normal (thin) woman for most of their lives instead of how they've seen me so far?

Normal for my children would be me keeping up with them, not making excuses for the things I can't do?

See, my reality so far - how I've defined myself for years - is opposite of all of these things. Even when I was thin, in my head I felt like I looked the same either way. In my head I didn't truly believe that I would stay that way. I don't know how to change my mind to believe that if I do lose weight that I can stay that way. I still don't believe it's possible for me.

I do think the things I say out loud and write should be positive and opposite of what I'm doing in this particular entry. From all that I've learned over the years I do know that the only way to change your belief is to think, say, and write things the way you want them to be. However, it seems at this moment that I need to face reality head-on...I sort of think that I need to "call out" all those beliefs that I am currently carrying with me.

The everyday miracle in this scenerio won't be me losing weight. It will be me believing myself as someone who can eat normal and keep a decent weight; it will be me believing myself as a middle-aged athlete; it will be me believing myself as a good example for my children; it will be me believing myself as a beautiful woman worthy of my husband's admiration. It's a huge order...and that's why it's an everyday miracle.

Babies and Children Are The Answer To World Peace

2010-01-27T21:18:00.001-05:00

There is no doubt in my mind that babies and children are the answer...the key...to world peace. Dan and I only have three children, but each time we had a newborn and would go into public somewhere it was like bringing the sunshine itself into the atmosphere around us. Often times it would seem as though a rock-star had walked into the room, store, down the sidewalk, in the park...wherever we would go the new baby would attract attention from complete strangers. I can't tell you how many times a person would tell me that it brightened their day just to look at my baby. And there are countless times that a friend or family member would take the baby from my arms so they could hold it and get their "baby fix". My mom to this day loves the sound of a crying newborn...(in moderation). The cooing, and babbling sounds they make and, yes, even their cries (if you're not the one up all night with them) can bring such warm and peaceful and joyful feelings to the soul.

They get a little bigger and then they start to walk and discover things, and figure out how to do new things all the time. As a parent you watch with joy over each new discovery and how proud they are of themselves. My children will get a look on their face which says, "did everyone just see what I did?" as they look around with a big grin checking to see if anyone saw them. And still, as toddlers and new talkers, complete strangers love to approach them and ask them questions and get them to smile. It brings so much peace and joy to people to be able to spend a small minute with a little child.

Many times I've posted stories on facebook about the funny things my children do and say. I post those things because they make me laugh and I can't wait to retell it hoping that it makes someone else laugh. I love getting feedback from people knowing that it caused them to grin, roll their eyes, and especially to recall a time when their own children did something similar. I see posts from other people on facebook where they are looking for that glimmer of the child they once had as theirs grow older.

I worked with teenagers for many years before having my own children. Each year a graduating class would come through and the parents would say to me, "It was like the blink of an eye...they were babies just yesterday." It was said to me so many times that I felt like I had what I called "the curse of reality about babies and children" - when my children were born I knew I had to take in every minute as though I would wake up tomorrow and they would be grown up already. Knowing this I try not to take their childhood for granted.

Ever had a dream to be a rock star? I have my own rock band right here at home! We have play drums and guitars and tamborines and triangles and pots and pans and tupperware and very loud voices which sing into pretend microphones or spoons...we're living that dream. Ever dream of being a movie star? We have all the dress-up clothes an actor could dream of and imaginations to go with them! Ever wish you could go out dancing again like you used to do in high school and college? We dance here every night almost with the music as loud as we want...and we get to pick the music we like the best! It can be Laurie Berkner one night, Great Big Sea another night, Miley Cyrus...Mika...80's...90's...party favorites...whatever we want! Kids are GREAT dancers and singers! They don't care how good or bad they are...or how good or bad you are...it's just about having fun!

There are so many innocent things that children say and do that make grown-ups smile and laugh. I've told of the time I went in for lunch duty at school and had the children lined up to go outside for recess when I looked over and watched one little girl act like she was walking with a cane all bent over and holding her back. She looked up at me and said, "Look Mrs. May! I'm 30!!" The other day I went in for lunch duty again and stayed for indoor recess. One little girl was writing on the chalk board. She asked me how to spell the word "be" - she said, "you know 'be' like 'be a good friend'." I told her how to spell "be" and meanwhile was helping another child with another game. She then asked me how to spell "friend." I told her. When I finally looked up to see her work on the board I read these words, "Be A God Friend." Obviously she had spelled "good" wrong - I could have corrected her, but it caused me to pause and reflect on the meaning of her sentence. To a child both are probably one in the same.

So with all of this being said, it seems obvious to me that babies and children are the key to world peace. It seems to me that if allied countries would work harder at being "God Friends" instead of "Good Friends" that it might be a step in the right direction. We adults could take a lesson in having more fun...not worrying so much about how good or bad we are at something. If stopping for a moment to look at a baby can bring so much peace to a person's heart, why can't stopping for a moment to have a pleasant conversation with another adult...looking someone else in the eye and seeing the child hiding in there? Let's work at being "God Friends" - remembering that we're all connected no matter how long we've been on earth.

Let's Be Honest

2010-01-20T14:47:00.000-05:00

My closet is overflowing with clothes. If I wanted to I could probably wear a different outfit each day for at least a month, maybe longer. That's just the clothes that fit me right now...I have a whole different wardrobe down in the basement in a large closet. To be clear, I'm not a horder - I have given away many piles of clothes and sold others in garage sales.

Here's the problem. With all those clothes I still end up putting the same 3 or 4 outfits on each day/week...wash them...repeat. At one point I asked a friend if she would nominate me for "What Not To Wear" so that I could get a new wardrobe. But just recently when I was having an honest moment with myself I realized that even if I were to go on one of those shows where they teach me how to dress and proceed to give me a brand new wardrobe, more likely than not I would find 3 things that I really liked to wear and the rest would pile up in my closet and never be touched.

I have decided that it's a comfort zone situation. In my mind I think the few things that I like to wear look half-way decent on me, feel comfortable, and wash easily. On the days that I decide to go out on a limb and wear something else - or go to a dinner party or out somewhere that I have to "dress up" - I feel paranoid and wonder the entire time how bad or good I look. Is the color right? Does it wash out the color in my face? Does it show the "rolls" in my belly (more than usual)? Does it make me look shorter, squattier, boxie, rolly-polly, like a football player? Maybe I just look like an alien with one eye...or a slime monster that swishes around. Those days I use product and blow dry my hair, put on makeup, and wear jewelry so that perhaps the focus will be up at my head and not at what I'm wearing. In my head I believe that magically people will only see my head and nothing below...as if it's not all one package.

I was thinking about all of this yesterday and today while getting dressed...in the same sweatshirts that I wear every week. (sidenote - Those who know me and care about me might be happy to know that I finally retired the salmon colored "Polo" sweatshirt - well, it's not completely retired, it's just burried deep under the pile of sweatshirts on the top shelf of my closet. I found 3 other sweatshirts that I happen to like better lately. So some change is good, right?) As I was thinking about all of this I just had to apply it to other areas of my life and may have unwrapped a reality about myself, the way I think, and why my weight has been a life-long struggle.

See, the comparison comes in when I think about the food I eat and serve my family. I REALLY like certain things. I really like pizza. I really like fried chicken (esp. Hopocan Gardens in Barberton for a treat). I really like bread. I really like spaghetti, rigatonni, fetuccini alfredo, and buttered noodles. I really like french fries, baked potatoes and mashed potatoes. These are a few of my fa-vor-ite things....! So, any time in my life when I was at a decent and healthy weight I gave up those foods...traded them in for healthy food. Again, I do have healthy food in my fridge and pantry (just like I have lots of other outfits in my closet), they're just not my favorites! To think about giving up the things I like the best once again just doesn't sit right with me. And ask any fat person, including me, we KNOW what it takes to be skinny...how could anyone NOT know this day in age?? We are in the information era...we are inundated with information! I don't need any more information. I know every "secret" of weight loss that exists! (You mean, if I exercise, eat whole grains, lots of veggies, lean meats, some fruit, and occasionally all the bad foods I like in moderation that even I can lose weight?? Really?? Shocking!!!!) Truthfully, I like healthy food too! I like all food! There are maybe 3 foods I don't care for...but out of everything that's not bad. No, a diet plan is not what I need...I don't think so at least.

It seems to me my weight problem stems from the same place as the clothing issue...wherever that place may be (probably Neverland). It has something to do with resistance to change...fear of change. My fear of changing clothes is that uncomfortable feeling that I just don't look right...and mostly that I look as fat as I really am. My fear of dieting or changing my eating habits is that I won't get to enjoy my favorite things anymore...ever...or at least not as much.

I've asked God to help me many times in my life with weight loss. I've asked Him to magically let me wake up the next morning and be skinny. Understanding that He doesn't do "magic" but mystery, I've asked Him to simply change my mind and way of thinking for me to make it easier on me. That's been a no-go too. I know that's not how God works either. Really, this one's kind of on me, don't you think? I mean, look, God gave me this vessel to walk around in here on earth so that I can do good for others and work according to His plan for me. He charged me with the responsibility of taking care of this vessel. So to go to Him and ask Him to do it for me...well, that's sort of counter productive. He has given me all that I need in order to do the right things for myself and my family...it's just a choice in the end.

So, is it my choice to change or not change? Can I be ok wearing something different? Can I be ok eating the right way and treating my body the way I should in order to accomplish the things I was sent here to do?
Can I deny myself the foods I love the most in order to make myself better? What would it take? I don't want a doctor to tell me I'm on the edge of a heart attack...and yet, I know I must be. I don't want my kids growing up thinking that it's good to eat these bad foods all the time...and yet, that's what they're learning so far. I'm a walking hypocrate. So what is my prayer for my life and for those of you who have this or other similar struggles? I believe God can give me peace of mind, people to support me, and all the strength it takes to make those kinds of changes. Changing clothes...just a humorous similarity to the real problem.
I pray that God gives us all the strength, peace and support we all need to make the changes we need to make in order to be able to bless the lives He intends for us to bless.

Another Kind of Ride

2010-01-05T22:59:00.000-05:00

June, about 10 or so years ago, I went to Cedar Point for a day with teenagers from Crawford and Marion counties and other adult chaperones/leaders. Part of our leadership program involved going out on fun excursions occasionally. I've been to Cedar Point many times in my life, in fact, I worked there a few summers while in college, but this story takes place that June day, about 10 (or so) years ago.

My friend and co-worker, Jodi, and I were standing in line to go on the Power Tower. Having worked at Cedar Point for a few summers I had been on the Demon Drop many times and never thought it to be a very "scary" ride...so approaching the Power Tower I think we both were pretty comfortable that it would just be something fun to do. We had to decide whether we should be "shot up" really fast, or brought up slowly and dropped suddenly...two different lines. She had already done both so it was up to me. Since I figured the "dropped suddenly" option would be much like Demon Drop, I opted for the "shoot us up" really fast line. Some of the teenagers we had come with were in the opposite line not far behind us.

Interestingly, the longer we waited and the more I heard the sounds of the ride and watched people go ahead of us, the more anxious I became. I started wondering if I really wanted to go on this ride. It was much, much, much, much higher than the Demon Drop (I am really fearful of heights). It was finally our turn to get on the ride. We sat down, pulled the bars down over our head, and someone came around to check and make sure it was locked. We sat there while others got on and as we sat there I started to really FREAK OUT! I turned to Jodi and said, I don't want to do this anymore. I want off. Do you think they'll let me off? She laughed at me and said it's not that bad...just calm down. I started trying to wave at the workers to come over. No one would come over. I started yelling that I wanted off. No one heard me. I yelled the "f" word (kind of like, "get me the 'f' off of here") forgetting that the teenagers were watching us. I heard them laugh and one of them said, "Dustine just dropped the 'f' bomb!" (Incidently, if those kids could hear me way over there in the other line, why couldn't or wouldn't a Cedar Point employee hear me or help me??) Nothing. I was going to ride this ride. I was buckled in and it was going to go. Out of my control. Nothing I could do to make it stop. My heart was beating a million miles a minute. And the ride took off and shot us straight up the tower as fast as it possibly could.

We got to the top of the ride and, I kid you not, in those SECONDS at the top I turned to Jodi, laughing, and said, "This was a BABY ride!! I can't believe I was so scared!! What a dumb ride!!"

I took this experience with me, as you see, even to this day. Every time I get overwhelmed by something I start to think of "the baby ride". Life is so much like it!! We look ahead of us at this monumental, huge, scary looking event (losing a job, moving to a new city, starting a new job, electric out for several days due to weather, the death of a parent, spouse, child, friend) sometimes the event is out of our control...and we think, "I want off of this ride!! Someone get me the 'f' off of this ride!" Sometimes we even think, "I never asked to be on this ride!" And there's no way off. Our seat belts are buckled and we HAVE to ride. The wheels are in motion and we are being "shot up" as fast as the ride can possibly take us. What do we say, what do we do when we're there...in real life?

Most of the time, don't we look back at that thing, that monumental, huge, scary looking event and say, "Well, that wasn't so bad now, was it?" Don't get me wrong, some things, like death, are far harder to deal with than other things - but even with the really hard things, like death, when we get to the other side of the pain, we can consider the possibility that we are much stronger than we thought we were. We may not necessarily say, "that was a baby ride," but we might say, "I hated that ride and I never want to ride it again. However, I know I will have to at some point, and I know that I can."

Miracles in the Midst of Madness

2009-12-02T14:30:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to put this blog together in my brain for a time and can't organize it very well there, so I thought I'd try writing it out and see where it goes.

Let me start by saying how I have always felt about tragedies, especially other people's tragedies. Maybe someone reading this can identify with me...I'm sure many others formed a more mature position on the topic earlier in their lives. Tragedies to me were always kept at a decent distance. I could sympathise but if I tried to empathise that would be too close. I have always been good at praying for people, really praying, for miracles, or for whatever their needs may be, but especially that God's love would surround the people in trouble and that He would provide His grace and His comfort. But selfishly, I was always too afraid of being too close to the pain. I did not want to experience that kind of pain...I was so afraid of the emotional pain that I had to ignore the comfort that I could possibly provide for someone. I know, someone is now seeing a side of me they didn't realize existed. To tell you the truth, I just never wanted to imagine going through what some of my friends have gone through.

That being said, when I spent a lifetime trying to avoid pain, putting up the necessary walls to not have to walk with someone through their time of trouble, you can imagine what happened when the events of this past year culminated with the death of my dad.

So let's just quickly put 2009 "tragedies" into a nice little paragraph sort of like ripping off a band aid. I believe it began with the death of my friend Sue Lorenz from post brain-surgical complications after she had dealt with brain cancer for about 8 months. Then, during the summer, my mother-in-law, Betty, developed a very bad infection with her diverticulitis, went to the hospital for a week while they treated the infection, went home for 2 days only to have to leave in the ambulance again and face surgery to have a portion of her colon removed staying in the hospital for another two weeks. Right around that same time, a friend that I used to work with, Staci Kelts, was diagnosed with untreatable cancer and died within 6 weeks of being diagnosed...a shock to all who knew her causing a lot of pain to even closer friends of mine. The second to the last week of September my dad passed away suddenly. A few weeks after that I was at May's Farm helping out for a day when a woman from a party in a tent out back came running up to Betty and I and said that something was wrong with Lee (Dan's dad). He was laying under his tractor and she thought he wasn't very coherent. I had to call the ambulance for him. It turned out that he fell off his tractor and broke his arm...unfortunate and uncomfortable, yes, but not as bad as it could have been. Just two weeks ago Dan's "Aunt" Mathilde died. Believe it or not I think I'm forgetting something, but I think you get the gist. Please don't think that I want you to think, "poor Dustine," because I happen to know that many other people face much worse circumstances (think of what Sue, Betty, Staci, my dad, Lee and Mathilde had to face)...just wanted you to realize that some tough things have occurred this year causing me to reflect on some important realizations. I think I could have gotten through the other events with little emotional injury (unless something worse had happened with Betty or Lee, which it didn't) but the death of my dad is where I had to really face reality, where I stand with my faith, and what really matters to me. So I am now going to go through the events of my dad's death...for those of you who are like the me I described at the beginning, you may need to stop reading...however, if you do stop reading, I warn you that you will be missing out on first-hand accounts of God's loving hand reaching out to show us that He's very much here among us, gracing us with His miracles in the midst of madness.

Basic truth #1: "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven."
The day after Easter, 2009, I drove my mom and dad down to North Carolina where they would be staying with my sister while we tried to sell their house in Marion. Together we had decided that it would be too challenging for them to try to get it fixed up and ready every time a realtor wanted to show it to somebody. Imagine having to move out of the home you lived in for over 30 years quite quickly and suddenly knowing you would never live there again. I know it took some adjustment for both of them, but my dad struggled with it especially. He did not want to move out of their house. They were making the best of it in North Carolina and adjusting.
Sometime in August I started thinking about the May's Fall Festival at the farm which starts toward the end of September and goes through the end of October. I asked my mom and dad if they would come up for the month of October to watch my kids on the weekends so that I could help out at the farm. They agreed and since my younger sister's bridal shower would be mid-September they would come up that weekend and just stay until the end of October.

After a very nice bridal shower which everyone, including my dad, attended my sisters left and went back to their homes. There was work to do that following week on the farm to get ready for the festival, lots of work actually because Betty had her surgery and things had fallen behind there. So my parents lept right into watching the kids that week as I went to the farm.

On Wednesday when I got home my dad asked me if I'd take him to the emergency room because he was having really bad pain in his mid-section. I took him to Mercy at about 8:00 that night. It was a very busy night. We waited a long, long, long time to get in. There were people in very bad shape and I kept praying for them and kept saying to God, "Thank you that Pop only has stomach pain and it seems to be subsiding. Please bring your blessing upon these people who are suffering in so many ways." They had that show "Grey's Anatomy" on the television in the waiting room, which I can't stand...I can't stand any of those shows...they're too stressful! I wanted something funny on, but it was out of my control so I tried not to pay attention. After spending the evening in the emergency room, his EKG coming out fine, they found in the CT scan that he was passing a kidney stone and said that's where the pain was coming from. They said he also had a bladder infection. They gave him an antibiotic pill, and a shot of vicodin, and sent him home with a bottle of vicodin and a prescription for an antibiotic at about 3:00 am.

Thursday, I went to drop Pop's prescription off at the pharmacy. Again, a very long line and when they did get to me I found out it was a new guy and he was slightly confused with the computer. He said they were backed up and it would be ready later that day. I went to the farm. I called home and mom said pop was sleeping and the kids were fine. I worked late and did not get to pick up the prescription. When I got home I found out that Pop had been dizzy and had fallen. Mom said he had bad pain a couple of times during the day and she gave him the vicodin for that. I told her he was probably having a bad reaction to the vicodin and to stop giving it to him. Meanwhile she read the side effects of the antibiotic and it said it could cause dizzy spells and falling so she did not want to give him the prescription. I picked it up anyway on Friday. On Friday she called pop's urologist from Marion and he agreed she should not give him that antibiotic and called in a different one and also told her NOT to give him any more vicodin, that he should not be taking that stuff. He was still dizzy, had a dry mouth, and fell on Friday. I still thought it was a side effect of the vicodin. Saturday morning before I went to help on the farm he fell again and was in a position that he could not stand up. I helped him up...it was very challenging, he could not help himself hardly, but we got him up. I asked him what the problem was and he said he just needed to sleep more. I told him that I thought this was all a reaction to the vicodin and to sleep it off. So he got back into bed and went back to sleep. I went and picked up the new antibiotic prescription on my way to the farm, and called during the day. Mom said he was up and around and seemed to be doing better. He was using her walker, but at least he was walking around a little. We got home before the kids were in bed on Saturday night and I checked on him while Grace was waiting for me to take her upstairs. Mom said he was having trouble holding the water cup because he was shaking so bad, and was still dizzy...he told me he was so thirsty. I went to the internet and looked up vicodin side effects. These were all listed as side effects and it also said that vicodin was rarely fatal. So I put my fears to rest, I told Grace that Grandpa just wasn't feeling well and that he'd be much better in the morning (I didn't want her to be scared of him or the situation) and to give him and grandma a hug and kiss goodnight. I told mom that the computer said that his symptoms were all listed as side effects of vicodin. She hadn't given him any for a couple of days, but we just figured that with all the fluid he was retaining in his ankles (he had been for a couple of weeks) that it wasn't metabolizing quickly.

At 3:30 am Mom called up the stairs, "Dan, Dustine, pop needs you! He fell and can't get up." We ran downstairs ready to help him up. We got there and his eyes were closed...well...mostly closed...I could see a little of his eyes through a crack in the bottom of his lids. But I thought he fell asleep there. So I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him. Dan asked if he fell asleep. I said that I guessed so. I tried to wake him up, said his name, reached down and shook him. No response. We looked at each other. Was something wrong? None of us knew. Dan asked if something was wrong. I didn't know. I shook him some more. I slapped his face. He was good and warm. I thought for an instant that was a good sign. I felt under his nose and looked at his belly and did not feel or see breathing. I knew I needed to give him breath. I held his nose and tilted his head back and gave him breath. I did it again. I did it again. He took one big breath on his own...like a struggling breath. I thought for an instant he was fine. Then I saw he wasn't breathing. So I gave him a few more breaths and decided that although I did not know how to check his pulse, that I was sure I should do cpr. I couldn't remember...it had been so long since I was trained and I never had to really do it. I went to the center of his chest and just did 20, sometimes 25 (I couldn't remember) pumps. In between I would give him a breath. Meanwhile, Dan had called 911. They showed up fairly quickly. When I saw them come in I kept going until someone came over to him. I stood up and just shook my hands and arms and had no words...I just wanted them to take over and do it right. We were all in shock and didn't really know what they were saying or doing. We all really, really, really thought that he would be fine. Pop had been through a lot of close calls in his life and always made it through.

They would take him to Mercy Hospital. When we got there they lead us to a room. I told the nurse to call a priest. She never did. A doctor came to us after several minutes and told us that it didn't look good for him. They were able to restart his heart a few times but they couldn't keep it going. If he continued to crash they would not be able to bring him back eventually. He left to go back to him and not too long after that came to let us know that he had passed on.

Miracle #1:"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven." Pop got to be with the entire family at Dea's bridal shower one week prior to his passing. He would have wanted nothing more than to be with his whole family together.

Miracle #2:"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven." Had this happened in North Carolina it would have been so much harder and so much more confusing to deal with the funeral and all the details of things you have to take care of after such a thing happens. Had it happened in Marion with Mom and Pop living by themselves, Mom could not have dealt with this all on her own. I did not ask for this. I did not want it. I wish it would not have happened at all. But it is a miracle that it happened in Ohio and with family who could support my mom.

Miracle #3: The very first thing Danelle did when she walked in the door after driving for 8 hours from North Carolina was to come straight over to me, sit down next to me, and look me straight in the eyes. She said, "Dustine, this was not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You took good care of mom and pop. It was just his time. I thought I was seeing signs of it while they were staying with me and I was preparing for it to happen down there. It was just his time." I was torturing myself that entire day going over the details in my mind. All the "What if's" - what if I knew how to do cpr the right way - what if I had taken him to the hospital - what if I ever paid attention to those shows like Grey's Anatomy...maybe I would have known what to do - what if I would have stayed home instead of going to the farm - on and on. How did Danelle know I needed to hear that? It still took a good month for me to stop blaming myself, but her words would echo in my mind...they were words that sustained me.

Miracle #4: About 3 weeks after his passing I was a mess. Couldn't sleep for a few nights. I decided to go see a woman who does reike to see if she could help center me and calm me down. After the reike treatment she asked me if I had a conversation with my dad about someone not feeling adequate either him or me. That long night in the E.R. he had told me that he felt so inadequate as a father and did I feel like he was as bad a father as he feels he was. She said that she was getting a message about someone being inadequate and she said that she should tell me, "you did the best you could." I told pop that night that he did the best he could at the time with the circumstance given him and that he was fine...that we're all fine. She said he was using that conversation to let me know it was him and that he was telling me that I did the best I could with the circumstances given to me. She said that he said to look in his blue plaid shirt pocket for something (later mom had told me that it was one of the first things she did and that shirt was the one that he had all his pictures of his family in). She said that something else was wrong with Pop, that if we had saved him or taken him to the hospital sooner they may have found it, it would have been a long, painful, road for my mom and she could not have withstood it. She said that he needed to pass this way. It was his time. After this she gave me some advice. She said that I was acting like I had some sort of choice or power over what God had determined from before time started. She said I had a sort of power complex and that I needed to realize that some things are out of my control. If God wanted to take him there was no way I was going to be able to stop that. These words were the other miracle words I needed to hear to let myself off the hook.

Well, there were more blessings in all of this. But I fear I've really run away with this blog. I'm not sure it turned out the way I had hoped, the blog I mean, but I guess it turned out the way it turned out. Maybe I'll be able to pull my other thoughts together for a follow up after Christmas sometime. I think we'll all be far too busy for me to sit and try to do this again until then.

God bless everyone who reads this and have a wonderful Christmas!

Fond Memories

2009-11-19T09:44:00.000-05:00

My sister, Danelle, asked me to post to my blog the eulogy we wrote and presented at our father's funeral. I told her I would do it when I thought I could handle looking at it again and having it there every time I went into my blog. I guess I'm at that point now. I have some other things to say about all the events leading up to his death and things that have happened since, but I'll do that another time. For now, here's the eulogy. It's missing the opening poem that I wrote to him when I was in Jr. High (he had it laminated and carried it in his brief case wherever he went and we found it still there along with his medications, pictures, and anything he deemed important to carry in his briefcase). I don't have the poem, but if I get it I'll post it another time.

EULOGY FOR DENNIS E. LOBDELL (our "pop")

Opening: Poem (Dustine)

Let us share a little bit with you about our dad, “papa” or “pop” as we affectionately called him. Many of you who knew him before we were even born would agree that he was always ornery and enjoyed making people smile and laugh. He loved to introduce himself as “Dennis The Menus,” and anyone who knew him would quickly agree. He had a corny joke up his sleeve for any occasion. His favorite jokes with us when we were little included “I can tell a train just came through here…want to know how? It left its tracks!” and if we asked how to spell a word he’d get us to say, “Pop how do you spell it?” and then he’d say, “ I – T!”

He loved to strike up conversation with people. His witty personality was the foot in the door. No waitress was safe when he went to a restaurant. He was a charmer – he would brighten their day with the twinkle in his deep blue eyes and his great big smile.

During Mom and Pop’s second visit to their new church parish down in North Carolina there was a baptism of a small child and after the baptism Pop went up to them and gave the child a rosary. Her father was gratefully taken aback and told Pop that he didn’t know him yet and wanted to know his name. Pop responded with, “Oh, I’m Dennis the Menus!” At that moment the priest was walking by and commented, “I don’t know about the Dennis part, but I sure do know about the Menus!” – this after meeting him only once before.

Speaking of rosaries, Pop was known everywhere as “The Rosary Man.” He always had a rosary with him to pray and he always had a rosary to give away. He never knew who he would be giving them to, but somehow, many times over, years later, a stranger would approach him and say, “You gave me/my son/my daughter a rosary years ago and I/he/she still has it and it really affected/or changed our lives. I just had to thank you.” Pop would respond that it wasn’t him, but our Blessed Mother guided him as to who to give it to.

We never knew who would be at our holiday dinners because Pop would invite less fortunate, or shut-ins, or people who had no family to be with to come to our house for dinner. After the dinner was over he would take the left-overs to shut-ins.

A man of many names, in the Nursing Homes where he and Mom did nursing home ministry for over 25 years he was known as “The Candy Man.” He began nursing home ministry with the St. Vincent DePaul Society and they would deliver diabetic candy to the nursing homes. So when he walked through the door they would yell out, “here comes our Candy Man!” and the name just stuck with him throughout the years.

He was a peaceful man with a calming presence. Children would flock to him. Anyone could put a screaming baby in his arms and the baby would calm right down and go to sleep. He could also find a song for almost any thought or word that someone uttered. He loved to just break out in song, usually very softly.

We never doubted how much he loved us or how proud he was of us. He told us regularly. His shirt pocket did not hold pens. It was overflowing with love. His love for his family. He held in his shirt pocket photos of his children and grandchildren…some of them even in small frames. His family was the most important thing to him and he never failed to remind us how much he loved us. He often left us phone messages just to say that he loved us. One time when Danelle was on the phone with him talking about coming home for the week visiting from college, he said to her, “I’m sad because in a week from now you’re already going to be leaving me.” He shared similar experiences with all of us.

His relationship with his grandchildren was precious. Grace, the first grandchild, would order him to come sit on the ground and play with her when she was just 2 and 3 years old. If he would start to sing a song, as he loved to do, she would point at him and say, “No Grandpa, no singing!” and he would continue a little to tease her or to finish his chorus, but he would obey her commands. He found much joy in pleasing his grandchildren.

In 2002 after his bout with Guillian Barre he went from perfect 20/20 vision to almost blind. So Mom would read to him in the evenings. It was the best part of his life – he didn’t care about television or anything else – he just loved the sound of Mom’s voice and wanted her to keep reading to him – even when she would get hoarse, he just wanted her to keep on reading. Mom and Pop were never separated from one another – you never saw one without the other. Mom was the love of his life, and he was hers.
One time Dea went to the movies with Mom and Pop and they sent her ahead to buy the tickets. While she was buying the tickets the people behind the ticket booth started commenting, “Oh look at that cute old couple walking in holding hands! Aren’t they just the cutest thing you ever saw! They’re still in love…I hope I find love like that someday…come look at this!”

These are only a few things we can tell you about our Pop. This world doesn’t have enough words to summarize the depth of our love for him.
Right now we can only imagine all the ornery things he’s doing up in heaven…heaven will never be the same now that he’s there.

Ending: Oh My Papa Song (Dea)

(Dea sang "Oh My Papa" to him every year on his birthday)

-----------------------
One other note that I don't think is included in the eulogy: He often called each of us (almost daily) hoping not to actually reach us but to get our voicemail so he could sing, "I just called, to say, I love you. I just called, to say how much I care..." We all have it saved either on our cell phones or answering machines. I have not had the courage to listen to my recordings yet, but at least I have them. I also have him wishing me a happy birthday last year on my birthday. My birthday is next week so I may just have to listen to his message...might be a good gift.

Enjoy the Ride

2009-08-22T11:21:00.000-04:00

I had to go to the mall the other day to finish getting parts of Grace's school uniform. I took the kids with me, of course, and as we entered the mall from the Sears side we approached mechanical rides that require .75 or 1.00 to ride. Maggie ALWAYS asks if she can ride on the rides when we go into the mall...and SOMETIMES she gets to. This day was no different. I told Maggie and Grace that if they were super duper extra good in the mall that they would get to ride something on the way out.

Well, they were particularly good this day...no kidding...and I really should have let them ride 2 or 3 rides for as good as they were, but I told them one and they had to agree on the ride. Well, they had agreed on a ride and at the last minute I saw the Cedar Point roller coaster ride and convinced them that they should ride that one - that it would be more fun. So they both got on to the Cedar Point ride which Grace was more than excited about since she's now totally into roller coasters! Maggie was willing just because it was a ride.

The ride started and immediately Maggie started pointing at another ride that she wanted to do next. I told her to watch the movie screen that she was missing this ride and that she does not get to do another ride. She continued to point to a different ride that she wanted to do next. I told her that there will be no more rides and to have fun on this one. She kept saying "but I want that one next Mom." The entire ride I couldn't convince her to just enjoy this one...all she could think about was getting on another one.

So of course to me this whole incident was an analogy between the life of a 2 year old and life in general. I couldn't help but stand there and think about how often I miss the enjoyment of the "ride" I'm on because I'm constantly thinking about the next thing I want or how much better things would be "if". Here I was trying to convince Maggie to concentrate on where she was at the moment, knowing all along that this is a challenge even for a grown up.

Although ambition is a good thing, it's nothing unless we have a great attitude about present circumstances. No matter where we're going or what we're trying to achieve, if we get there with an attitude of ungratefulness and dissatisfaction then we lose the enjoyment of the ride. And most likely we won't even appreciate our accomplishment either. Attitude is everything.

I felt sorry for Maggie because when she got off that ride I could tell she didn't even feel like she had been on a ride. She missed it. Granted, it's not the ride she had chosen...but that's life too, isn't it? It was still a ride.

Although there are many more things I wish to accomplish in my life, I am so grateful to be home with my children and enjoying my time with them for now. There are days that I want to pull my hair out because I feel like I need a break from it...but those are the days that I find a friend or family member to go somewhere with me and leave the kids with Dan. Dan and I have had times when we can get away too if we find a babysitter. All in all I would not trade these years for anything. When I look back someday I have a feeling that I will not remember the things that bother me now with not having two incomes (such as not being able to give the gifts I'd like to give to friends and family...or not being able to get new clothes on a whim) - but I will remember all the times and moments with my kids. If only I was good at recording those moments! I think for now I'm just going to enjoy the ride I'm on...as opportunities arise I can embrace those, but certainly my mind and heart are fixed on the moment.

Just A Happy Thought

2009-07-30T23:45:00.000-04:00

As a youth minister there are many moments when your heart just wants to overflow with joy - sometimes just being part of the youth ministry community, sometimes a great spiritual moment, sometimes when you witness the students receiving some spiritual realization, sometimes when you witness students and adults giving time and talents unselfishly...just so many good things come from being a part of ministering to youth. I miss the ministry and the people every day. However, I have so so so many happy memories where my heart felt like it was overflowing with joy. There is one time I was thinking about today that I want to share.

Every year deaneries for which my parishes were a part of would put together pretty much a program every month for our students to attend and get to know other kids from the other churches around our area. In fact, they still do, but I'm speaking as in the past because it is the area I used to live in. We called our area the Back To Heartland area and there is a history behind that name which you can ask me about another time.

The Back To Heartland area would put together a program for high school students always on Martin Luther King Jr. weekend called the Back To Heartland High School Gathering. The last year I helped to plan this event, 2008, I wanted to add a little "theatrics" to the ceremony parts of the weekend...anyone who knows me knows that I'm sort of into the "theatrics". So I put together a group of high school students who met with me for a couple of months prior to the gathering, picked a few songs that I wanted them to act out skits to, and had them help me choreograph skits to those songs. They would perform those "song skits" during different ceremonies over the weekend.

One of the songs they performed a skit to was called "Here I Am" by John Angotti (if I knew how to attach the song to this blog I would do that for you, but alas I can not figure out how to do some things on here yet). The song, in short, is a prayer to God telling Him, as the chorus goes, "Here I am, Here I am, Here I am on my own free will. Send me, Lord, to do your will." The verses speak a little about our fears and confusions and how we need to turn to God and focus on what He sent us here to do. So in the skit the students and I decided that we would have one of them wear a robe and portray Jesus. There would be a student at the beginning who is sort of distracted and a little weary, she would open up her bible when the lyrics cued her to do so, then when the chorus broke out into, "Here I am..." she would raise her hands and look to heaven and the Jesus character would come over and take her hand and lead her to the side to wait for his directions. Another student in the second verse does a similar scenario.

At the end of the song, we used the live version, a choir breaks out into an amazing chorus of, "Here I am, Here I am, Here I am, Here I am to do your will...Here I am, Here I am, Here I am, Here I am to do your will...Here...I...am..." and we had the Jesus figure go in front of the crowd of students where we planted the rest of our skit students in the front and they were to raise a hand (as if to say, "pick me") and Jesus would pick them to come do his will too. Before they did the skit I told "Jesus" that there could be a couple of others from the audience who would raise their hands too and to go ahead and pick them to come up too.

"Jesus" went to the crowd when the choir broke out in the chorus and began choosing our planted students. Unexpectedly, student after student after student after student kept raising their hands as the choir sang, "Here I am, Here I am, Here I am, Here I am to do your will..." and "Jesus" kept pointing and waving them up. Tears just streamed from my eyes. My heart was overflowing with joy. They were hearing the song and wanting to stand up and show that they were here and ready to do God's will. Out of 150 or so people in the audience I would say about half ended up at the front. I wish now that we had planned some amazing climactic ending...but it was simply a girl sitting alone at a table with a cafeteria tray that they were to go sit and be with. God's will is that simple sometimes, though.

What do we know about God's will? Mostly what the world would call the "Golden Rule" - "Do unto others as you would have done to do." Sometimes it takes a lot, we have to step out of our comfort zone, to accomplish this. Sometimes it's pretty easy.

As for the ones who did not raise their hands or stand and go to the front, I am sure in their hearts they were there. How many times are we somewhere in our hearts before we are there physically? There are many reasons a person may not have wanted to stand and go to the front...they were afraid of looking weird, they were enjoying the show, their friend wouldn't go with them, they were comfortable and didn't want to move, they were praying the song in their mind and did not think they needed to physically go to the front...lots of things. Just so, there are lots of things that keep us from standing up in real life and doing God's will - whatever that is for you or for me. Sometimes something pulls at us so strongly that we just know we are suppose to do it, but we are afraid of looking weird, or it is not convenient for us, or we said a prayer for the situation that someone else would take care of it...

Let's create more moments in our lives that make our hearts want to overflow with joy. To do that we have to stand up and go do God's will. Whatever that is for you or for me. Certainly if we do more and resist less then we will find ourselves in many moments of joy.

Strange Occurrences

2009-07-09T00:26:00.000-04:00

Have you ever...(love that game by the way) -

Have you ever had something strange or inexplicable happen to you in your life? If so, I'd love to hear about it...I love TRUE stories about strange occurrences. Why? Because it's so hard for people to deny that there is a higher power at work behind the scenes...when things are inexplicable we are forced to consider FAITH. For some of us faith comes easy - it has just been ingrained in us and we have practiced it our whole lives. For others, to just simply CONSIDER faith in God is an awkward step out of a box or brick wall that has been built up around them, and to see and hear about otherwise strange occurrences are a wonderful means for them to ponder the "what if".

My sisters and I have a great relationship today - in my opinion. Sometimes we had a good relationship while we were growing up too. Sometimes we wished we had a better relationship with each other - but none of us can deny that we cared about each other no matter how much we fought or ignored each other. Sometimes we were just awful to each other, though. Sometimes we said mean things, many times we screamed things at each other that probably didn't even make any sense but we just wanted to be louder than the other. Sometimes things got physical and we'd wrestle or hit or push. This strange occurrence happens to be one of those physical times.

When we were old enough there were times when my parents would leave for a couple or few hours for a meeting at church or other commitments and they would put my older sister in charge. My older sister is 11 months older than I am and sometimes I really resented that she was "in charge" especially since she seemed to milk it for all it was worth. Really she only needed to be sitting for our younger sister, but she was told that she was in charge and that's just the way it was. You know, I'm talking like Danelle, my older sister, and I were probably in high school by this time and Dea, my younger sister, would have been 4 or so years younger than us.

On this occasion my parents walked out the door and they didn't even make it out of the driveway when Danelle looked at me and said, "I have a really bad headache tonight and I don't want to hear a sound out of you. I have a lot of homework and I can't have any distractions. Not a sound out of you." I mean, come on, tell me not to make a sound and what do you think I'm going to do? Really? Really? What would you do? Who out there would not make a sound when someone, your sister, challenged you not to make a sound? What do you think I did? "Peep." "Tweet." "Psssst." "*cough*." "*sneeze*." "*tap,tap,tap*." "Peep." "do,do,do,do,do,la,la,la,la,la...."

She says, "Ok that's it..." and she races toward me and tries to - I think she may have been trying to choke me, but I threw my legs up to defend myself and so it was like she was trying to get to me, kind of pulling my hair and such, and I'm kicking her back with my legs and feet...ya, we're in a full-fledged fight. Dea was in her room and hears us screaming and fighting each other downstairs and comes to the stairs and is shouting at us to stop - we were scaring her. It didn't take long and suddenly...

"Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring." The phone began ringing. Not the normal ring when someone was calling, but a pattern of like 4 rings at a time. We stopped fighting and I answered the phone. "Hello?" "Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring." The phone continued to ring even though I picked the receiver up and answered it. Danelle answered the kitchen phone. "Hello," she said. "Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring...," the phone continued to ring even though we had two phones off the hook. Danelle told Dea to go answer the phone upstairs. Dea answered the phone upstairs. "Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring...," the phones all continued to ring for another minute while we all stood holding the phones off the hook.

The ringing finally stopped. "Wow," I said, "that was really weird." Danelle looked at me and said, "I'm not through with you," and she charged at me. Again, she was trying to pull my hair and whatever else and all I can remember is defending myself by pushing her away with my legs and feet. Dea was screaming at the stairs for us to stop. She was crying.

"Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring." I answered the phone again. "Hello?" I said. "Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring...," the phone continued. "Hello," Danelle answered the kitchen phone. "Ring, ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring, ring...," the phone continued. "Dea, go upstairs and answer the other phone," we said. Dea answered and the ringing continued another minute, all the phones off the hook once again. Danelle looked at me and said, "I think we better stop." "Yeah," I said. "Are you ok?" she asked me. "Yeah," I said, "are you ok?" "Well, you were really hurting my stomach while you were kicking me back," she said. I apologized, I didn't know I was hurting her. I didn't antagonize her the rest of the evening and probably rarely after that. She might disagree, but I don't recall many, if any, incidents after that one.

Why was this particular fight stopped? We'll never know. We're pretty sure our angels were frustrated with us that day. I hope and pray that God and the angels intervene in your lives when you need them and save you from any harm.

More Aware of Gifts

2009-06-06T21:50:00.000-04:00

My dad almost died once.

Well, he actually had several occasions over his lifetime where he almost died. He had heart surgery when he was 16 years old - to date he's the oldest living person to have that particular surgery. I'm told he would have died without that procedure...it was experimental at the time. He's had some other close calls, but I'm privy to only one for now.

In February of 2002 I received a call that my mom had taken my dad to the hospital. I was told not to worry or get excited because they didn't know if it was anything serious - they just wanted to make sure he was ok because he had been feeling some numbness in his hand and arm. Something just didn't feel right about the call so I left work to go to the hospital. He had been undergoing some tests that morning including tests to check for stroke and heart attack, they would do a ct scan and a spinal tap too. The numbness kept getting worse and was slowly spreading to other areas but they could not find anything wrong with him.

My older sister who was living in North Carolina thought the whole thing sounded strange too, so she booked a flight into Columbus immediately and I went to pick her up at the airport later that day. By the time we got back my dad was almost completely paralyzed. My younger sister was there too, so all of us were witnessing this deterioration. I really can't recall the timetable of events...it seemed to all move so slow and so fast all at once. No one could determine what was happening to him. My husband arrived sometime that evening. Well into the night he was not only unable to move, but soon became completely incoherent.

The doctors were baffled and finally told us that sometimes a body just decides to give up and there is nothing they can do about it. A nurse came into the special waiting room that they took us all to and told us that we should all prepare to go and say our final good-byes to him. We each went and took our turns with him. The nurse had asked if there was a minister or priest we would like to have present and she called the priest from St. Mary to come over. Meanwhile we all sat in the little waiting room and prayed...together. We prayed that we were not ready for him to leave yet, to please spare his life, to help the doctors figure out what the problem is, to help the doctors save him. The priest came and gave him his final blessings.

A visiting doctor came up to where they were holding/treating him. He was told what was going on with him and he said he had seen something like this at the hospital he works at. (My details as to what they did are very foggy now). He said they had performed a plasma transfer (or something like that) and it stabilized the patient. So expediently they did this procedure. I think it must have been like 2:00 am by this time.

Just like that, after a day and night of horror, fear, uncertainty, and continuous prayer, my dad was stabilized.

At this point they wanted to life-flight him to Riverside Hospital in Columbus since they could not diagnose him in Marion. Upon arrival to Riverside he was quickly diagnosed with Guillain Barre Syndrome. He was in ICU for about a week. This portion of time was extremely painful for him because I guess the virus attacks the nerves before rendering them useless. Then they moved him to a long-term care floor because it would take a few months for each part of his body to get feeling back. Unfortunately a couple of big mistakes were made by a staff person on a couple of different occasions which set his recovery time back due to complications. He was in the hospital for 8 months. Fortunately, though, he recovered....mostly. There was another man, a minister in his 40's, in the hospital at the same time with Guillain Barre Syndrome as well. He had many more complications than my dad and last I had heard was in a wheel chair for up to a year after his experience.

I can't say that my dad ever recovered 100% but I can say that he recovered and was able to walk and talk again.

We're eternally grateful to God for sending the visiting doctor to my dad in the nick of time to give him the plasma transfer that saved his life. We know this to be a miracle and have since become more aware of all the gifts that we are given.

To Burt's Bees, or Not To Burt's Bees (little miracles part IV)

2009-05-24T22:46:00.000-04:00

I have three beautiful children. Grace is the oldest and will soon be 6, Magdalene (Maggie) is 2 1/2 and Brady was born in September of 2008 and is now approaching his 9 month mark. Grace is your classic first-born child...she just has to have rules for everything, especially for Maggie, and she is very concerned about making sure she does everything right and perfect. Grace is also very sweet and loving and very sensitive as well. Maggie, well, she's just concerned about being 2. I have been saying since she was approaching 2 that she is the ultimate 2 year old...she was born to be 2. I'm still not sure what will happen when she's 3 and even older. Maggie has such a pleasant personality and is very laid back. When she is trying my patience I just shake my finger at her and say, "You are such a two year old!" and she thinks that's hilarious. Brady's personality is just starting to shine and he's waaaaaayyyy different from the girls even as a baby! He just goes after everything and is VERY demanding and wants what he wants and wants it right now...and for now at least, he is very much a "mamma's boy." I never had to worry about Grace and Maggie getting into things all that much...Maggie more than Grace, but still not bad...but Brady, he's only 9 months and already crawling into places in the house that the girls never cared about.

Brady was pretty much born with sensitive skin. All babies are, but he's had a few issues with his skin. First we were dealing with a bad case of cradle cap that covered the entire back of his head - I guess that was around the time he was like 3 or 4 months. And he also would get little spots of eczema behind his ears and other places on his body. About the time he was 6 month old he came down with RSV so we gave him the breathing treatments when necessary and also steroids for his lungs. A few days after his last steroid treatment his face broke out with a horrible case of eczema. We have been dealing with this extremely bad eczema ever since then.

First, we followed the advice of our pediatrician and made sure we washed all of our clothes in baby detergent (we only wish during all this time we could have convinced the entire rest of the world to wash their clothes in baby detergent too so that no matter who held him wouldn't cause him to break out). Also following our pediatrician's advice we used the cetaphil soap and lotion on him...which in reading up on eczema on the internet is a widely supported brand for the condition. We also went to the dermatologist who walked in the room, looked at him, and imediately asked, "Does eczema run in your family?" He said that it was hereditary and may or may not be caused by allergies. He prescribed steroid cream and also some high-strength antibacterial cream because the cracked and bleading areas were cause for concern for staff infection.

I had read on the internet that although steroid creams are effective for treating eczema, they should be used sparingly because continued use of steroid creams can cause other and worse skin problems due to thinning out the skin. So the steroid was the only thing helping him...any time I would use the steroid the eczema would go away for 2 - 3 days, but then come back with a vengence on the 3rd or 4th day. Frustrating!! I did not want to continue using steroid to treat him, but needed to find other options.

I took him to a woman for a reike treatment and that actually helped calm the swelling...the redness went away that day. This woman who did the reike told me to try udder cream with him and actually udder cream seemed to give him less of a reaction than anything else I had used, so I continued to use the udder cream from then on.

We then took him to a homeopathic doctor. She believed she could come up with a remedy to cure it completely. She did not like the idea of steroid cream because it just supressed the eczema and didn't help to cure it. She thought that Brady might have a milk allergy and said that we needed to pick one thing to feed him (I was both nursing and supplementing him) so to stop nursing since I did not have enough to feed him. Also, to take him off of regular formula and to give him goats milk, soy formula or rice formula and to not feed him anything else until she could determine if it was a milk allergy. I chose soy formula. Brady broke out into full body hives from the soy formula. Not a good choice. I switched him back to his regular formula and called the homeopathic doctor to tell her. She said she really wanted him on goats milk...to give him goats milk. I told Dan and his reaction was, what's the difference between goats milk and cows milk?! If he has a milk allergy why would it matter which animal it came from? So I did some more reading on the internet. Turns out goats milk is NOT a good thing to give to an infant AT ALL! Even a goats milk company trying to sell goats milk has a large exerpt on their page that says, NEVER under any circumstances should goats milk be given to an infant. Everything I read said that if your infant has a milk allergy you should give it the hypoallergenic formula. So that's what I did. We did this for 2 weeks. No change...Brady still was in a constant state of extreme eczema and he was hungry and crying ALL the time because his appetite was too big for a formula only diet.

Dan and I did not take Brady back to the homeopathic doctor, and I started feeding him other foods one at a time again to check for reactions. I do think he may have a sensitivity to wheat, but that's another story another time.

I had resigned myself to the fact that I was going to have to use steroid cream on him every 3 or 4 days apart to keep the eczema from being too cracked and bleading...and that was just how it was going to have to be. I would use udder cream, and I had also read on the internet to not wash him with soap, but instead to wash him in baby oil so that his skin could hold moisture better. So I started washing him in baby oil, slathering udder cream on him, and periodically used steroid cream.

Well, one day Dan's mom told me that she had been speaking with one of Dan's cousins and she had a similar problem with one of her kids. She said she had never used steroid cream because she didn't want to, but basically she eventually used Burt's Bees lotion on his eczema and it disappeared and never came back. I said that maybe I'd try that because I was willing to try anything...and felt I had tried anything so far. So I basically decided that if I came across Burt's Bees somewhere I would pick up a bottle of lotion and give it a try. It kind of left my mind after that.

Last Wednesday I went to Amish Country shopping with my mother-in-law. When she met up with us she noticed that Brady was pretty swollen and red that day and he was in for a full flair-up by the end of the day...I knew I'd have to use steroid by the next day. She mentioned to me again what Dan's cousin had said about Burt's Bees and I said, "well we'll be in Amish Country today, I'm sure I'll see some of that somewhere...I'll give it a try if I find some."

We shopped several furniture stores in the morning looking for a deacon's bench for her mud room. We decided to stop for lunch and then we would go to several other furniture stores that we had passed by on the way to lunch. When we got to the restaurant there happened to be a lot of people waiting in line in front of us, so I took Maggie to the bathroom and she held Brady. The people behind her started playing with Brady and struck up a conversation with her because of his eczema. They had a grandchild that had it really bad and I should try washing him in goats milk (ugggh...goats milk again!). They lived close by and they assured us that this was the best Amish restaurant around and worth the wait...the Amish even eat at this Amish restaurant. My mother-in-law asked them where the best place would be to get a deacon's bench. They decided Slabach's was the best and explained how to get there.

After we ate we started for Slabach's furniture. We went down the road, but then missed our turn and knew it right away. So we were looking for a place to turn around and go back, and found another furniture store where we could turn around...I said, "well since it's a furniture store and we're here, we might as well go in." So we did. It turned out to be a very high-end furniture store and they did not have a deacon's bench anywhere in the store...but the woman was very pleasant and wanted to take my mother-in-law through her catalog. So I walked Maggie and Brady through the store and Maggie had to sit on all the chairs and open drawers to all the dressers and desks. I was about to take them outside to walk around outside and Maggie noticed a tiny display of lotions that she wanted me to put on her hands (she loves lotion). It was Burt's Bees on a bottom shelf down on the floor level of a book case. There were maybe 5 Burt's Bees products altogether. One of the products was called Baby Bees Lotion and it said it was for sensitive skin. I figured this was the one I needed. Hmmm, I had forgotten that I was kind of looking for this. Fancy that.

Listen, we weren't even planning on going to this furniture store. They didn't even have what Betty was looking for. I was waisting time with my kids...and here, after making a wrong turn and stopping at the place we were just going to turn around in, I find this Baby Bee product that has been reduced to half price because they were not going to sell Burt's Bees products there anymore. Now, if I had known that it was going to completely cure Brady of the eczema on his face...that he would have normal beautiful baby skin on his face just by using Baby Bees lotion on his face...don't you think I would have bought every single solitary bottle of that lotion that they had left??? Yes, I'm telling you here and now that nothing else worked for this child...a complete and total random series of events led me to the correct lotion. I may never have even picked that lotion given a choice in another store...but it's really all they had left at this store. Why would a furniture store even have Burt's Bees products ... on a bottom shelf ... of a book case ... down by the floor where no one is looking....except my 2 year old who thought she wanted me to put some samples of lotion on her hands?

I put the lotion on him as soon as we got to the car. Before we ever reached home that day his face was cleared. It still needed to heal a little, but it was cleared. It has been 4 days and he has not had a flair-up. I have not used steroid at all. Only the Burt's Bees Baby Bees Lotion. I'm keeping my fingers crossed...but it looks like we found his cure.

I'm not the only one that miracles happen to either, by the way! I'm sure you have a story to share!!! Leave a comment if you have a story!

By the way...the furniture store that those people told us to go to, "Slabach's," we did end up finding it and the store had so many deacon's benches that she could barely decide what to get! And they were very reasonably priced too. Now Dan wants one and I guess I'm going to have to try to find it again...who knows where we'll end up the next time we take a wrong turn!

Not So Much a Miracle as a Word of Wisdom

2009-05-16T23:30:00.000-04:00

I was commissioned to do a talk one time on a Cursillo weekend (a retreat that helps to enrich a person's faith). My talk was supposed to focus on the importance of reading books, watching movies, listening to music and even doing internet research on or about your faith...looking into God and faith in order to strengthen your faith.

While preparing my talk I somehow found myself centering in on the story of Mary and Martha in the bible...where Mary was franticaly waiting on Jesus and becoming frustrated with Martha because all she would do was SIT at the feet of Jesus and just listen. Martha wouldn't lift a finger to help Mary and Mary was stuck trying to make everything perfect for their guest all by herself. Jesus finally pipes up and says to Mary...in so many words...calm down! Martha is doing the right thing! Just be still and listen!

It must have been a message that someone...or many of us...on that particular weekend needed to hear because it turned out that several other people who had talks to prepare used that story and message as well...that we need to listen more and talk less...take time to be still and look into the things that can help us hear and understand Jesus more.

Before a person gives a talk on a Cursillo weekend s/he waits in a prayer chapel where people pray with and for them. There is quiet time and time to discuss whatever is on your mind before you give your talk. When I was in the chapel before my talk I mentioned to the woman praying for me there that I had this element in my talk that seemed to be a theme so far on the weekend about being still and listening. She sat there a moment, wrote something on a piece of paper, then turned to me and said, "You know, while you were talking just now it occurred to me that the words 'listen' and 'silent' have the same letters in them...so I had to write it out and see, look...they are the same letters, just in a different order."

To listen, truly listen, we do need to silent our mouths, our brains, our emotions...all the things that interfere with our ability to learn and see and hear. I don't think it's a mistake that listen and silent both have the same letters. I think it's another little miracle that has a simple, yet very important message imbedded in it.

Whether you're trying to learn something...or just showing your kids or spouse that you are really listening to them...try training your thoughts and mouth and emotions to be silent so that you can really hear and learn. We're so busy, like Mary, trying to make things perfect in our lives that sometimes we forget all we really need to do is to sit, be silent, and listen.

Through The Eyes of a Child (little miracles part III)

2009-05-14T13:34:00.000-04:00

Well, this is actually my husband's story but I will tell it to the best of my ability. If I get any of it wrong, believe me, he will leave a remark and correct it...he does not like when I embelish or get any of the facts wrong. Such a detail and logic oriented brain - we balance each other out nicely.

My husband has been putting the kids to bed since Grace, our first-born, was old enough to require a bed time routine. He likes this job because he can read stories to them, and even better, he can make up stories for them and with them...and it really is great bonding time between dad and kids.

I think usually what happens is that once the kids have their jams on and have brushed their teeth the two girls (Brady is still a baby and stays with me for now) meet in one of their rooms of their choosing for stories and songs and bedtime prayers. When prayers are over Maggie stays or retreats to her room and Dan tucks her in. Then Dan goes to Grace's room where they have what I call, "Bedtime Lessons With Dad." Grace starts asking all kinds of questions and then she and daddy discuss. For instance, once she started Kindergarten this year they introduced fire drills and tornado drills and lock-down drills and all the scary things that a little 5 year old is trying to comprehend and understand. So Grace asks daddy all kinds of questions about how fires get started and how we know if there's a fire and what if we're sleeping and a fire happens...and on and on. Same with tornadoes. She has lots of other things she asks about too. Sometimes Dan tries to talk to her about sharing better with her sister or being nice to other people or having a good positive attitude about everything she does.

This past year we had the opportunity to move closer to Dan's family in Canton. It was a long drawn out process to get there because we were having trouble selling our house in Bucyrus (although we feel extremely blessed that our house sold in Bucyrus since many houses are not selling at all). Due to several timing issues we stayed with Dan's parents who were very kind to let us be there for a little better than two months. We were getting nervous about whether our house in Bucyrus would sell, and if not, what were our options? We did a lot of praying.

One night after prayers with the kids Grace asked Daddy, "Why do we pray to Jesus?" And Daddy answered, "Because Jesus loves us and He wants to know what we're thinking about, so we tell him what we want or what we wish for or we just say thank you to Jesus for loving us and keeping us safe and healthy..." (not a direct quote but I believe it was something to that effect). Grace said, "well we keep praying that someone will buy our house. Who's going to buy our house, Daddy?" Dan said, "I don't know." She said, "Well, when is someone going to buy our house?" Dan said, "I don't know, why don't you ask Jesus?" Grace said, "Well Jesus told me that we were going to sell our house on the 28th." Dan chuckled and quickly looked at the calendar and saw that that was a date in the future and said, "Oh ya, and who's gonna buy it?"
And Grace responded without hesitation "Well the people who are looking at it now Daddy." And he chuckled to himself again because no one had looked at the house in weeks and he gave her a kiss and said good night.

The next day Dan called the realtor just to see if anything was going on. She said, "well I didn't want to get your hopes up but we showed your house yesterday."

A week later, Sunday, September 28th, Dan was putting the girls to bed. He had made note of the date all day and by this time had decided there would not be an offer on the house on this particular day. 8:30 pm he had just finished putting the girls to bed and his cell phone rang in his pocket. It was the realator. The people who had looked at our house the day Grace had spoken of had just submitted their offer on our house.

little miracles (part II)

2009-05-05T23:29:00.000-04:00

Have you ever run into, crossed paths with, chance encountered an old friend or a family member you haven't seen in ages? Maybe you had been thinking of them and then ran into them...or maybe they hadn't even crossed your mind in quite some time and out of the blue a chance encounter! How about when you're about to pick up the phone and call someone and then the phone rings...and it's the person you were just about to call! I LOVE those little miracles that so many people just enjoy a chuckle over or shrug a shoulder at...the little miracles all have significance!

During my last year of college my fiance's (now husband) parents let me live in their home so that I could save money by not paying for college housing or rent (Dan had already moved out and begun work a couple hours away). They lived about 25 minutes from Kent State and I guess about 40 minutes away from my waitress job in Streetsboro. So I would commute both to school and work on a daily basis.

It was my last semester, maybe even my last couple of months, in school and I knew I was going to need a nice suit for "grown up" job interviews. I went to Aurora Farms outlet mall after work in Streetsboro one day to see if I could find something nice. No problem at all - found a very nice suit pretty quickly. I was so excited! Resume's were out, graduation was approaching, I'd be getting married soon after graduation, and I found a great suit to interview in...I was sure to get the first job I interviewed for with that suit!

On my way back to the May's house (home at the time) I needed to stop for gas in Rootstown...sort of half way there. There are I guess maybe 4 gas stations in Rootstown so it was just a random pick over which one to stop at. I got out of my car, went to the pump, and who should pull up to the same pump on the other side? My parents. Yep, my parents. My parents who lived 2 hours away. In the car with them was my younger sister who was going to school at the Pittsburgh Art Institute at the time. What a chance meeting. They had gone to Pittsburgh to pick up my sister to bring her home for the weekend. They knew of course that I was staying at the May's, but never traveled to the May's via route 76 so did not know it was the exit leading to me and had not planned on coming to to visit me. Actually they were going to drive right by where I was (should I be insulted?), but they needed to stop for...you guessed it...gas. In Rootstown. At the same moment and at the same gas station. Not to age me but this was before cell phones so believe me there was no way to set this up.

I got to show them the very cool interview suit that I had just purchased! It made the whole experience of buying that suit even more exciting!!

You know, I've actually run into my parents several other times since then. I know that they pray for me and my sisters all the time so I really think that God helps to arrange for times that they can see us or hear from us when we really weren't even planning on it. I hope that God will do the same thing for me and my husband with our children someday when they're grown up and much too busy to see us as often as we would like.

Little Miracles (part 1)

2009-05-03T23:18:00.000-04:00

So my sister and I were cleaning my parents' house and getting it ready to sell. My parents are ready to downsize from the big farm house they have lived in for 30+ years. It's one thing to prepare a house to sell; it's an entirely different thing to prepare a house that has been lived in for 30+ years by people who don't throw away very many things. I must say that it was sort of fun to go through old school papers and newspaper articles from my childhood, and even more fun to read all the old notes that friends used to pass to me in the halls in high school. Couldn't believe they were still there (even after the fire) but fun to read through nonetheless. Some people are pitchers, others are keepers. My parents are keepers. Make no mistake it was a very stressful time for them to let us help them pitch things that were cluttering their place and had to go. To say those things had no value would be an arbitrary statement...value is in the eye of the beholder. Assuming I continue to blog I may refer back to this experience periodically.

While going through some clothes in one of the closets, deciding what would go to the Salvation Army and what mom wanted to keep, I came across a stunning, gown-looking, very small like baby-sized, light blue satin with pearls outfit hanging inside a clear cleaners bag. I wondered only for a second what it was and then I told my mom, "this looks like an outfit that the blessed infant would wear at the Carey Basilica." Mom said that it was indeed an outfit that the blessed infant had actually warn in Carey and that she has three of them, although this one was the nicest one. She wanted me to have it...but only if I would share it with people who were in need of a miracle or some sort of healing, whether physical or spiritual, who would be willing to pray the rosary with it in their presence. I immediately thought of a friend and contacted her when I got home.

My friend responded quickly that she would love to have the opportunity to pray with the blessed garment. However, it took a couple of weeks before we connected again. On a Monday morning she called me and asked if she could have the garment that day because she wanted to pray with a friend of hers that is dying of cancer. Certainly, I had no problem bringing that straight to her, afterall, I was just heading out of the driveway with 2 of my children to enjoy the nice day with no particular plans anyway.

When I arrived at her home with the blessed garment I wanted to share a story with her before I left the garment with her. Although not for her sake because her faith is strong, I wanted her to be able to share this thought with whomever else she may ask to pray with her using the garment. My parents had a very big fire in their house in 1992. They were not there, they were actually out of town because unfortunately the very same week my mom's mom had passed away and they had taken my older sister back to college after the funeral when they received the call about their house.

That following week we all went back home from college to see the damage. Going through the house where we could, anytime we found a religious item we could see where the fire burned right around it but never touched the item. Crosses, pictures of the sacred heart, statues of Mary, sacramental gifts, bibles, all were spared. There would be black and burn marks all around a blessed item, but the item was never touched. Now, the way I look at it, if God chooses to protect THINGS that have been blessed, then how much more do you think he wants to protect us, His people, His loved ones...we who were made in His own image. We may not seem to get the miracle we ask for sometimes, but God is always loving His people and protecting them and gracing us with amazing miracles day to day. Nothing is a coincidence...you know you believe that too.

Well, later that Monday my friend had to call me to tell me a story of her own. She went out to take the garment and pray with her friend. Before calling her friend she wanted to stop at church and go into church and pray by herself. She had not yet contacted the friend she wanted to pray with. When she drove into the church parking lot her friend was there sitting in her car. My friend told her she was just getting ready to call her and ask if she would want to pray with her and this garment. The woman was at the church to meet a couple of other friends to go in and pray at that same moment in time. So all of them went into the church, with the garment, to pray.

There are no coincidences.

This is just the most recent - I have many other little miracles to share.