- I train to do a 5K or longer and actually RUN it...not walk it?
- I don't snack on chips or sweets?
- I actually succeed at weight loss?
- I actually defined myself as a thin woman and not an obese woman?
- My children got to see me as a normal (thin) woman for most of their lives instead of how they've seen me so far?
- Normal for my children would be me keeping up with them, not making excuses for the things I can't do?
See, my reality so far - how I've defined myself for years - is opposite of all of these things. Even when I was thin, in my head I felt like I looked the same either way. In my head I didn't truly believe that I would stay that way. I don't know how to change my mind to believe that if I do lose weight that I can stay that way. I still don't believe it's possible for me.
I do think the things I say out loud and write should be positive and opposite of what I'm doing in this particular entry. From all that I've learned over the years I do know that the only way to change your belief is to think, say, and write things the way you want them to be. However, it seems at this moment that I need to face reality head-on...I sort of think that I need to "call out" all those beliefs that I am currently carrying with me.
The everyday miracle in this scenerio won't be me losing weight. It will be me believing myself as someone who can eat normal and keep a decent weight; it will be me believing myself as a middle-aged athlete; it will be me believing myself as a good example for my children; it will be me believing myself as a beautiful woman worthy of my husband's admiration. It's a huge order...and that's why it's an everyday miracle.